Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Cat Lessons

You know those "everything I learned I learned from my cat" books that are supposed to make you laugh and go "That is so true" while you're waiting for a table at the Cracker Barrel? Well, I feel like writing one. Because I have 9 cats, you see. So I learn a lot from them. Here is just a sampling of the things I learned today:

1. If someone leaves the front door open, thus giving you the opportunity to go out and play in the snow, you should definitely take it. Snow is super-rad.

2. But you shouldn't go too far, because... well, it's scary out there without the people you love around you.  And getting warm again is the best part of going outside.

3. Naps are an important part of the day.

4. If you want something, and you don't get it, you should roll around in front of the person who can give it to you, and be really cute, and purr a lot. If they still don't give it to you, you should cry. If they still don't, well, then you should just bite their ankles.

5.  If you want attention, and you're not getting it, you shouldn't be afraid to ask for it by barging right in and making your needs known.

6.  Dry food pretty much sucks.  Try to sneak pleasures where possible.  Like someone's fish they're not eating.

7.  A q-tip can be a super-fun toy.  So can balls of paper.  You can find toys in the most unexpected places.  One person's trash is another person's toy.

8.  When you get scared, it's ok to go hide under the bed for a little while.  If you don't feel like talking to a stranger who's in your house, under the bed is a perfectly acceptable place to go.  And you don't need to explain yourself.

9.  Let me repeat that last part.  You really never need to explain yourself.

10.  Whenever possible, have someone else clean up your poo.

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