The Habit Factor

Hannah's finally starting to get on a decent schedule with an easy bedtime (though this week has been an exception - crazy teething plus swim lessons mean that she's fussy and wired up, which is making bedtime tough again) and she's in her own room, which means that I can wake up in the mornings without waking her.  This has been good for several reasons.  First, I get to do my morning meditations, and drink my coffee in peace.  Second, I can actually start to do some of the things that are important to me again.

So I downloaded this app called The Habit Factor, and their thing is that it's the small actions, ie habits, that make up our lives, and help us achieve our goals.  So you use the app to input big goals, like losing weight, or writing a book (mine) and then you associate them with different habits, which you also input.  So I have the following habits already set up:

- spend at least 20 minutes in the morning working on my book

- meditate daily

- exercise daily

- log food in loseit app daily

- write in my various blogs 5x/week

- think about what I'm grateful for each day

- do 50 situps each day

- go to church at least twice a month

... and on it goes.

Each day you get reminders for the habits you wanted to practice that day, and they have all these nifty graphs and such that let you track how well you're doing.  And then when you input big goals, you can then link the habits to them, so you can start to see how the daily activities impact your big goals.

It's a pretty neat app, and it fulfills my great "I wish someone would invent that" need that I've had for years, which is that each day I write a to do list that has 10 of the same things on it, and then I have a few unique things each day.  Every day I write the same things over and over.  What I wanted was a tablet where you could create templates, like online or something, and have the 10 things you do each day on it already printed, and then have half the page blank for the other stuff.  Since I just have those things input as habits, I don't need to write them each day (though I miss physically crossing them off).  Attention somebody who is a graphic designer and has time on their hands: make something like this and sell it through cafepress, or whatever the kids use these days.  I'll buy it.

In the meantime, I'll cultivate the habits using the app.

50 Things

So there's a gap in my life right now:

For the first time in four years, since having a baby and not needing to be obsessed with fertility/clomid/shots/ovulation/peeing on sticks, I have a lot of energy and a lot of creative thoughts, and, more than anything, I have the drive to actually complete my creative ideas and take these things that I've been thinking about for years to the next level.

And...

My time is not my own.  I can sit down to a blank page and five minutes later there is crying, and someone is teething and needs to be comforted, or hungry and needs to be fed.

So here I am, with all this energy and ideas, and a complete inability to plan things out.  For a while I said I was going to get up at 6 every day to do my creative projects.  Then Hannah started sleeping like crap, and then she started waking up at 6, too, and really there's a limit to what I can do with this level of sleep deprivation.

When I was in New Zealand I reconnected with a very dear friend of mine who has her own business doing creative work.  I knew her when I lived in London; in fact, I was her intern.  She's about 10 years older than me, and we are ridiculously similar.  We both self sabotage the crap out of ourselves, and we also have grand ambitions that we'll probably never be able to meet.

I spent a lot of time with her, hashing out ideas for the businesses I want to run, the books I want to write, etc.

We came up with an idea.  The 50 Things idea.  It's based on the thought that if you do something every day on your creative idea, even if it's just five minutes, you can accomplish a huge amount.  If you do one Thing over 50 days, you have 50 Things.  If you do one Thing every day for a year, you have 365 Things.  A year seemed a little daunting to get started, so we decided 50 days was doable, and then we could reconsider.

I'm picking two areas to work on (ie two Things a day).  One is creative, one is admin.  I need to get rid of some cats.  One of the major holdups to us moving back to Pennsylvania is the amount of cats we have.  If I did one Thing a day on the cats, for 50 days, I'm pretty certain we'd have found a home for at least a few of them (anybody want a cat?).  The creative area is going to be my book.  I have a NaNoWriMo book I've been working on for years.  I want to complete it.  I'm not sure whether I'm going to publish it on Smashwords or not - I'm not sure that it's quite to the level I'd like it to be.  But I need to finish it, because it's lingering with me.  Every new thing I start to write has the story woven in somehow.  So I need to complete it so I can start new things.

Our 50 Things start on May 10.  

In the meantime, I'm taking a lot of inspiration from this Ira Glass quote on the creative process.

Getting Fit Project Update: Halfway There!

I officially started my Lifestyle Adjustment on March 8 with the goal of losing 40 pounds by August (five months from then).  We're about halfway through now, and this morning, I officially hit the 20 pound mark.  Woot for me!  How that looks in real life: I lost 3 inches from my waist, 2 inches from my hips, an inch from each thigh and an inch from my bust.  That's 8 inches from the areas that I measure.  All the Boat Clothes I bought before our cruise in March are too big, which needs to be filed in the "Good Problems to Have" folder.

I'm finding it slower going now, but I expected that.  Your body eventually gets used to the new food regimen, and will adapt to it.  So I need to switch things up - eat often, to keep my metabolism going, for example.  And I read that up to 70% of your metabolism is determined by how much water you drink, so I'm drinking loads of water these days - at least two liters a day.  I pee all the time, but after being pregnant, I'm kind of used to that.

And I'm still hungry.  Seriously, I've said it before and I'll say it again.  All those people who say you can lose weight without being hungry are absolute liars.  I'm perpetually hungry.  But I'm getting used to it, and I don't go to bed thinking I'm going to die overnight if I don't eat a big bowl of cereal before I go to sleep anymore.  I'm eating about 1800 calories/day which generally includes at least one really big spinach salad for dinner.  If it were up to me, I'd be eating 3000 calories a day, half of that made up of cake and icing.

The thing that's worth it, though?  I went up to the attic on Sunday and got down a box of clothes I haven't been able to wear since 2004, and most of them fit.  

The big downside?  I'm noticing fine lines in my cheeks now, which I suppose have always been there but I didn't notice because of the extra weight.  So now I get to buy anti-wrinkle cream.  Sigh.

It's a Reward Day though, and my 10 Pound Reward this round is a new phone.  I'm getting myself down to the Verizon store quick-like.  New gadgets and old clothes are totally worth being hungry for!

Getting Fit Project Update

It's Tuesday, which in my new Fitness Project is Goal Day.  That means it's weigh-in day (though I weigh myself every day anyway), and if I make my goal, I get a reward (this week it's a loooong backrub from my hubby).  Every other week I take my measurements - I don't expect to see a lot of change in just 14 days, but it keeps it present for me, otherwise it would just slip away into the dark recesses of my brain where random Monty Python quotes and facts about the French Revolution are collecting dust.

So, the results are in.  I lost another 2.2 pounds this week, bringing the total to just about 4.5 pounds in 2 weeks.  I lost half an inch from my waist and hips, each.

On Saturday, I had a long heart-to-heart with hubby about food, and it was so clear how similar the addictions to food and alcohol are.  One example is my utter conviction that any occasion is more special if you have food.  For him it was alcohol.  I mean, if you're going to do something nice, why not do it with food, right?  When we go to England, I have a whole list of food I need to eat, otherwise I feel like I'm really missing out on something.  I need to get Muller rice (I love that stuff).  I need to eat chocolate mini-rolls from Marks and Spencer (I also love them).  I absolutely have to drink at least two Cafe Nero hot chocolates a day.  I mean, what's the point of wandering around Soho if you're not doing it with a hot chocolate in your hand, right?  I can't imagine going to England and NOT eating Cadbury chocolate, or those Belgian waffle things that they sell in little individual packs in the grocery store.  It's almost like there'd be no point.

But that's just ridiculous.  The point of England is Evensong services, and train rides, and walks by the Cam, and wandering around in Bath, and getting lost in Whitby.  The point of England is most definitely NOT chocolate mini-rolls from Marks and Spencer.  I can see having one or two things that are your special foods that you look forward to when you travel somewhere.  J loves the 7-up in England because it's not as sugary as here.  To me, that seems normal.  If I only had the mini-rolls, that would be ok.  Or just the Cafe Nero hot chocolates.  That would be understandable.

The problem is when everything revolves around food.  I plan where I'm going to eat, what I'm going to eat, what I'll drink with what I eat, how I feel when I'm eating it.... which kind of talks and walks like an addiction.

So I guess I'll check out Overeaters Anonymous.  I really don't want to.  I went a few years ago - well, eight years ago - and I had a really bad attitude because everyone there seemed like they were fat and ate too much and had problems, and I sat there all holier than thou, thinking I was different.  Who am I kidding...I still think I'm different.  But one thing that J taught me is that all the alcoholics think that they're different, too.  He's convinced that he's the one person who can handle alcohol, and everybody else has a problem.  But he sees that everyone thinks that - the more you think you're different, the more the same you are.

The other thing I'm learning is how to take things one day at a time.  Not even one day - one minute.  If I'm not pigging out in this moment, then that's a good thing.  I don't have to worry about how to get to 40 pounds, or 50 pounds or 70 pounds.  I don't have to worry about how I'm going to go on a cruise and not completely lose all this progress I've made (the answer is, I'm taking my scale with me...hey maybe I'll weigh less at sea...who knows).  I just have to worry about this moment, right now.  And then this next moment.  And so on.  Eventually you get to where you need to be, one moment at a time, right?

I had my follow-up appointment after the D&C today.  I love my doctor.  I just love him.  I wish I had a little miniature version of him that we could keep around the house, telling me random stories about when he bought his first CD player in the mid 1980's, and only had three CD's for it.  He was at a meeting about high risk pregnancies during the time I was miscarrying three weeks ago, and he said he'd been thinking about me when they were talking about treatments for inflammations, and thinking about what he would do with me when we got to the point where I lost Baby T.  Then he comes back, and finds out that I, as he put it, "got into trouble."  But he's super-excited for me to try again because of all these new treatments he's learning about.  I'm now Dr. J's guinea pig, I guess.

Anyway, I told him that we're on a full-scale assault against fat, and we talked about my plan of attack.  He was totally supportive, but wanted to make sure I wasn't doing some crazy crash diet, and I assured him that I was trying to eat 1600-1800 calories a day.  And he said words that will be forever etched in my brain as a defense against the BMI calculators and height-weight charts I used to study when I was a kid.  He said, "I think more like 1800 calories a day for you.  You're not short.  And you have a big frame with a lot of muscle.  We'll lose the padding around the frame, but that frame's not going anywhere."

Praise the Lord, and Big-Boned Girls Unite!!! 

More cool stuff (and I really need to schedule time to write)

So this was my second day on my own with Hubby gone and I made good use of it. Woke up early with a bed full of snuggling cats who missed their human-papa. Went out early and took pictures with my schnazzy new camera. That was super-fun. I took a lot of pictures of sunflowers (notice the bee in this one??). Then, because there was more fun to be had, I went to the lake and paddled around in the water, which was much warmer than it was last week, thank goodness. Read my book, listened to some podcasts, and ate a hot dog. Yay for hot dogs.

This afternoon I worked on my Renaissance English History podcast and put out a new episode of that on the Pilgrimage of Grace. Those silly northerners - thinking they could follow their own conscience and defy Henry.

I've been thinking a lot about my productivity lately - there are so many things I'm into, and I just don't seem to have enough time to do them all, and yet I know that's not exactly true because I seem to have time for facebook. If you have time for facebook, you have time to follow your passions. So I've been poking around discovering online productivity sites like inboxzero, which is rocking my world, and then yesterday I found 43folders, which is also filled with tips, inspiration, and ideas on how to make time for what's really important.

So this week I'm going to actually schedule time to write, and not just take it when it comes, so to speak. And I'm going to work when I'm at work and make sure my evenings are free of work. Gotta figure this stuff out now because when a little one comes, whenever a little one decides to come, it won't be any easier...

Resolutions Schmezolutions

So here we are at another January and I'm doing more resolutions. Actually, I kind of enjoy it. Yesterday I listed all the ares of my life that are important to me, and what I wanted to accomplish with them this year. It's kind of fun to think about, and create the year. So here are some things I'm going to accomplish in 2010:

1. Write - like, seriously, like my life depends on it. Because, in some ways, it really does. I say that I want to be mobile and have a life that is split between LA, PA and London, with travel on the side as well. It's kind of hard to do that with a "real" job. So I really feel like writing is where it's at, especially because reading and writing have always meant so much to me. So this year, the goal is to write for 6 hours a week (that's an hour a day, give or take) and also to take my journaling seriously. Also, I'm going to finish, edit and publish my 2009 NaNoWriMo book, which is one that I'm really loving.

2. Exercise - like, seriously, again, like my life depends on it. Because in a much more real way, it does. I putter around on my elliptical 5 times a week already, but that's kind of lame because my muscles are already used to it, and it's kind of like sleepwalking. I don't do any weights, or core exercises, and that's important as I get (ahem) older. So I bought an exercise ball and have started using it, and am going to do push-ups - starting with my knees bent because I'm lame, but growing my strength so that by the end of the year, I can do 25 push-ups with my legs straight. That's the goal.

3. Go back to London more - At least twice this year. I get lazy because I hate leaving home, but really, that's where my soul belongs, and I need to spend more time there. I get inspired, I get in action, and I come alive when I'm there.

4. Financial - One thing I know is how to make money. Unfortunately, I also know how to spend it with the best of them. So this year, I'm going to try an experiment: I'm going to try to live off of half my salary and save the rest. That will allow me to do things like to go London a lot without charging it on a card. It will also allow me to build up a nice little nest egg for the time when Baby Heather comes along and we need to buy foreign things like diapers and cribs. Weird. And really, lord knows I seriously don't need more scented candles or faux-designer bags from Target. It's all just more junk to move someday anyway.

So those are four of my big resolutions for the new year.

And a funny thing happened during the keeping-of-a-resolution: I decided to go for a hike around the lake this morning, as the weather was nice and it wasn't too freezing. So I get there, park the car, and take my car key off the chain as always, and also as always, I tuck it into my underwear. This is what I have always done, since the days when I began running 15 years ago. Yes, I carry my car key in my underwear. So sue me. So it was slipping around, and I was like, "man, I've gotta find a new place for this key" and then reached in by my hip, and it was no longer there. I shook out my clothes, and nothing. I went back and forth along the path five times, and no key. What the hell, right? Right. So then I finish walk, call hubby and he gets our neighbor to drive him to get me because I have no key. We are going to walk the bit of path where I lost it again, looking more carefully, when suddenly I feel it in an unmentionable. It had moved around and I basically had key-butt. Which was funny because I'd had key-butt for three miles and hadn't felt it. Weird.

Getting started following my bliss

I got all reinspired when I was in the UK, and am committed to making it work so that I can live there part-time. To do that, I probably need to work for myself. It's not something I want to do just yet, but I do want to start getting things moving so that when the economy improves, and when we can sell our house and move back to PA, and everything gets in alignment, I can get right on the stick and step into this dream. So I'm starting to make things happen.

My big three passions in life are music, the internet and marketing, so I'm trying to figure out how to combine those three things. I'm starting by writing to musicians and finding out what their needs/wants are with their marketing - I really want to put together tools to help them do it themselves guerilla-style rather than just charge $150/hr to manage their web presence for them. So I've started writing to friends, friends of friends, everyone, just to see what people think. I'm committed to having 50 conversations with people before the end of the Introduction Leader's Program (the Landamark program I'm on right now) which is March 19. I think from that I should be able to put together some ideas that I can start working on, and make it happen. Moving slowly and gently, though, and not rushing into this. It's like when I first started dating Jonathan. I'm going to have the rest of my life to work on this project, hopefully - I don't have to rush into it and figure it out right away...

So that's what I'm working on these days. Go me!

Was on vacation the past two weeks - back to the grind on Monday. Oh well, it's been nice. Went to the UK and got myself all reinspired about figuring out a way to split my time there. Thinking about the things I love - marketing, the internet, classical music - and how to put them all together. Lots of ideas floating around in my head, and thankfully I have a lovely new Muji notebook from Carnaby Street in which to capture them all.

The first thing I need to do is start talking to musicians, particularly classical musicians, about their needs and how I might be able to fill a gap in the market. I'm envisioning some type of membership based website with an accompanying book or something like that to help musicians market themselves better online, but I'm not sure about how great that need is. So I'm going to start talking to people, seeing what might be possible, what they'd consider paying for, etc. One thing I'm clear about is that I can make this happen. So yay for me.

Then J and I went up to the giant sequoia trees, a place I've been wanting to see since I came to California. It's pretty humbling to stand in front of a tree that is 2200 years old. That tree was already big when Jesus walked the earth. Crazy.

Still stewing in nomadchick messiness

Thank you to the comment on yesterday's post about not giving up on my dreams. I'm definitely not going to do that - I guess I'm more just thinking about what my dreams really are these days. I feel like NomadChick has been this anvil around my neck for so long - that was my dream when I was 24, but I don't know whether it is any longer.

And I'm thinking about other dreams that I might have now that I never had before. I've had a lot of people tell me, for example, that I take really good pictures, and I'm always walking around with a camera in my pocket, so now I'm thinking about taking a photography course in the fall. And writing classes. And who knows what else. Considering I'm not that nomadic myself anymore, is nomadchick really the highest expression of my dreams that I can think of? So that's what I'm stewing in at the moment. I still think I'm going to do something with it, but I don't think it's going to be NomadChick.

I hope everyone had a good Memorial Day, and remembered all the service men and women. We had our lovely neighbors over for a cookout and sat around telling stories for hours. They are a retired couple who live in Palm Springs during the winter, and just came back up for the summer, which makes me so happy. It's so nice to see other people in the house, and it not just sitting empty.

Before that, though, I had to clean the deck. There's this really gross yellow powder that starts collecting for about three weeks at this time of year, which is followed by the worms that fall from the trees. Ick. Today I finally got seriously fed up with the powder, and besides, it's done for the season, I think. So I swept, cleaned, and rinsed all the deck furniture and got rid of a lot of it. I wish it would rain and wash it all away but I'm not holding my breath. It probably won't rain until at least late August or early September now, so I had to take matters into my own hands. I got filthy, but it felt good to work hard. I like physical labor on a fairly regular basis. It makes the shower afterwards feel so much more earned.

I was decluttering my space this weekend and found a bunch of half-finished cross stitch projects that it would be good to finish, so I'm going to work on one a bit before bed tonight, and that's really all the excitement I can think of.

Oh, and I am trying to write 1500 words a day, and got in all 1500 words each day this weekend. Now let's see if I can do it on the weekned.

Could this be a turning point?

So here's something weird that happened. My NomadChick.com domain name expired, and someone else grabbed it for a real estate blog. It's really a strange feeling. My life has been dominated, on and off, for nearly eight years, by the desire to create an online community for single women travelers. I never fully realized that vision (though in London, the Nomadchick meetup has about 400 people in it, so maybe it is getting realized that way?) for various reasons - mostly feelings of inadequacy and fear. I could probably be in therapy for ages figuring out why I never completed much with NomadChick. But I didn't, and now it's gone.

I have a couple of choices:

I could buy a similar domain name - nomadchick.net or something - and still try to make a go of nomadchick (rather like how Breakup Girl had to buy a new domain name after Oxygen.com screwed her - I love breakup Girl).

I could buy a different domain name that still has something to do with women and travel, travelchick or something? - and try to get the whole thing going again under a different name, without all my nomadchick baggage.

I could declare the thing "over" and let it go.

So I'm going to have a think on it. Either way, I'm sure that this whole "letting the domain name expire" thing was meant to happen. I couldn't just keep clinging to it and never doing it.

Anyway, that's my news. Long time no blog because I injured my shoulder and spent a week and a half completely high on painkillers, muscle relaxants, and anti-inflammatory meds. I couldn't string together enough words to make one sentence, let alone a blog entry.

Happy Memorial Day. Now I've gotta edit all my profile listings everywhere and take out NomadChick from the listings. It's a weird feeling. I'm just going to let it sift for a little bit. No rash actions. Just sit and stew in it.

Still trying to make up my mind what to do when I grow up

I'm having a Weird Day. Well, actually it's been a Weird Week. I went up to San Mateo on Wednesday, and am going up again this week. I'd say I'm getting too old for all those long days, but I'm not. I guess I'm just lazy at the moment. The past two weeks have been really stressful, and I'm finding it difficult to manage life in the midst of stress. Like the huge piles of mail that seem to be mating and having children every time I step away from my desk.

So I tried to spend this weekend just chilling out. Went to the video store and got two movies, made a big batch of Italian Wedding soup to graze on all day, have been reading, napping, etc. I must get to the mail pile at some point, but it will still be there tomorrow, and I'm not going to mail any checks on a Sunday night, so I'm just going to listen to Bruckner and deal with it tomorrow.

The thing that made today Weird, though, was that I watched a wonderful movie, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which I highly recommend. But the building that one of the main characters lived in is the building I used to work in, on John Adam Street, WC2H, near the Charing Cross Station and the bend in the Thames. It got me really missing London. I'm really struggling to figure out how I'm going to get back there. When I first had to leave I was all full of optimism. I'd get my MBA and would find a company to sponsor me, or I'd just start a company, or I'd become a famous writer, or I'd get married to a British man, or something simply because I had to be in London. It's where my soul is supposed to be. When I would go back on vacations I'd send postcards to myself, reminding myself of how happy I am there, and warning myself not to get lazy and complacent. (On a side note, the first time J and I went to London, he said he was amazed because I was like me, only totally different. It was like me on steroids or something. He said I was happy and energetic and alive in ways he'd never seen in me before).

Which now, seven years later, it appears I've done. I keep trying to believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm on a Path and I'll be led back there when the time is right, or I'll just figure something out and the heavens will open up and everything will be magic again. But the chances of that happening, especially next year if I get pregnant, are getting more slim. So I give myself pep-talks. Ok, this is the year when I really figure my sh*t out, right? No more being Lazy. Whatever it is - marketing for libraries, freelance marketing, who the heck knows - whatever it is, I'll do it This Year. And another year goes by, and I've not done it.

I don't want to just have another pep-talk with myself. I want to cause a transformation in my thinking, Landmark-style.

So rather than thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, I think I need to focus on the lifestyle I want, and then create something that fits within that.

The first thing is mobility. I want to be able to spend summers in the UK, and the school year in PA. And I would like to travel to CA on a regular basis. I want my child to be fully aware of, and engaged with, the larger world around him/her, and to experience it firsthand. I want him to be both a cricket and a baseball fan. Thankfully, with the internet, that is possible in ways it never was even fifteen years ago.

Second, I do not want to have to travel for work a lot. I want the travel I do to largely be pleasure. I travel for work a lot now, and I'm growing weary of it. A few times a year, maybe even once every six weeks or so, that's ok. But not every week, or even every month.

Third, I want to work for myself so that I own my time. Whether that means having some consulting gigs, and then having clients of my own, I don't know. And I don't mind hard work and long-ish hours. But I want to control those hours.

Fourth, goshdarnit, I want to make a good salary. I won't hide it. I'm good at what I do, and I need to learn how to charge for it properly. It's one thing having a salary, like I do now, and quite another to say up-front to a potential client "I think this is what I'm worth" and give some number that seems huge to me, but probably isn't so bad to them.

One good thing about the economy right now is that everyone is hunkering down and it's giving me a chance to plan and think and come to some decisions so that when things turn around - and they will - it will be good timing. I need to get on people's radar now, so that in a few years they'll hire me and I will make this dream-life thing come true.

I'm too young to be giving up on my dreams, right? I mean, everyone is too young to give up on dreams, but I'm particularly too young. And then I can watch movies with buildings in London and not cry inside.

Besides, this whole Getting Back To London thing has become the Story of my Life, and it's getting a little bit boring to keep repeating. So I've gotta stop it and just figure it out already.

New Year's Resolution: Check-in

It's March 1 and I thought I'd do a New Year's Resolution Check-in.

1. Listening to new music... In February I discovered - or rediscovered - Finzi and Vaughan Williams choral work, Jill Scott, Ingrid Michaelson, Deuter new age music, Armik (kind of flamenco type stuff) Asa and Pink Martini.
2. working out five times a week... yep, this has been going good, and I upped the workouts to 45 minutes a session rather than just 30. Good stuff.
3. cutting back on sugar... Well, it's a little weird because I have now cut out all artificial sweeteners and am drinking "regular" coke, and iced coffees, but it seems to be true that artificial sweeteners stimulate a sweet-tooth, at least with me, because I suddenly have no desire to eat much chocolate. Very strange. Again, I wish I could quantify this somehow.
4. drinking more water... averaging 6 glasses a day.
5. going to one museum a month... did not do this in February, but will try to do two to make up for it in March?
6. finding a church for spirituality and friends... I did go to the Methodist church down the hill, and am planning on checking out Episcopalian church in Lake Arrowhead next week.
7. finding a choir or starting one... I had been starting one with a voice teacher, but that hasn't really gone anywhere yet. So I've got to get on that again.
8. reading at least one "smart" book a month... I did read more books this month, but none of them were non-fiction ones. There were some "intelligent" ones, but not any non-fiction.
9. journaling and meditating daily... Not every day, but I have been doing better. Plus yoga three times a week.
10. playing the piano a few times a week... I played the piano once a week during February. Need to get that up, but it's a start.

I'm also planning my trips to Iceland and back to London later on this spring/summer so I'm doing better with the whole being Grown Up Girl and not being so neurotic.

New Year's Resolution: Check-in

It's early February now, and I thought I'd do a spot-check on my New Years Resolutions:

1. Listening to new music... I've definitely been doing this.
2. working out five times a week... this too, which is going more easily now thanks to my audiobooks.
3. cutting back on sugar... I feel like I've been doing this, but I should quantify it somehow.
4. drinking more water... definitely doing this.
5. going to one museum a month... did it in January.
6. finding a church for spirituality and friends... haven't done this yet. There's a Unitarian church down the hill I'd like to check out. Maybe this Sunday.
7. finding a choir or starting one... I did find one, but it's mid-term now and I can't join until September. That wouldn't be so bad if it's what it came to, but I'm holding out hope I can find something else.
8. reading at least one "smart" book a month... does listening to a book count? Otherwise, no.
9. journaling and meditating daily... not every day, but pretty good. Plus I started yoga.
10. playing the piano a few times a week... haven't done this, but I did have a lovely time playing the fiddle a couple weeks ago. Must do that.

So I'm doing ok, huh? Need to find church, sing, and play piano and violin more. Everything else is on track. That's good to know. I am going to check in like this once a month.

I would also add to it that I should write more. Every day. 500 words. No excuses. It's like a muscle, right. The more you do it, the better it becomes.

Ok, so that's my check in.
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A friend of mine just had another baby. Babies everywhere! Why won't people stop having babies already?!? Sheesh. Like I didn't have enough pressure already. Ick. Babies. Pregnancy. Who needs it. (Grandparents and husbands, I suppose)
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And when is Project Runway coming back?!?! I'm totally missing it. I know, there's legal problems. I'm watching the canadian version on youtube till it comes back. I miss that cute Heidi and Tim.

Things I may Want to Give Up for Lent

So here's the scoop from Grownup-Central. I've been traveling up to San Francisco really often on long day-trips (leave home at 5:30, get home at 8 types of days) so I've decided that the best thing for me to not feel incredible pain on those days would be if I actually woke up pretty early all the time. I'm not a big waker-up-early person. I work at home which affords me the luxury of rolling out of bed at 8, getting tea and wearing my bunny slippers to work. On days I work at home I don't even wash my face until the evening when I take a bath. Nice, huh?

Anyway, today was the first day of my big Waking Up Early Schedule and you know what? There's actually life at 6am. Weird. The hour from 6 to 7 was largely spent wondering why I thought it was important to get my body used to waking up early anyway. Then at 7 I decided to be super proactive and I did a yoga video. At 7:30 I wrote in my journal. Then the tea kicked in and I was pretty awake. We'll see how this goes, but it would be quite lovely to have morning quiet time with the cats. It would make me feel very zen and mature.

So the whole Lent thing. I'm not Catholic, but I like the idea of giving something up - showing that I have power over it rather than it over me. I've been thinking of giving up Diet Coke for a while anyway. It's really bad with all that aspartame, and especially when I'm pregnant next year, I won't want to give that stuff to Baby. So hence, I do believe I shall give up Diet Coke for 40 days. It seems really harsh. But then again, Jesus wandered around in the wilderness for 40 days, so surely I can give up some chemical-laden-non-thirst-quenching drink for 40 days. I shall, however, indulge in regular coke from time to time (the kind you drink, not the kind you snort) because it's mostly the artificial sweetener that I'm trying to get my system off of.

How about the free Grand Slam at Denny's tomorrow? Since I wake up so early these days, I might just go get me one. Something to look forward to.

Oh, and as far as my entertainment crisis goes, I still haven't managed to find any books that really excite me. So I'm doing the next best thing. I'm listening to books. It feels kind of like cheating, but I am getting only unabridged ones, so I figure it's kind of ok. I'm listening to Bill Bryson's book on Shakespeare right now. I love him. He's just the best. He's also the one author that my non-reading dad actually reads.

The new Matthew Shardlake book comes out on Thursday, though, which is what I've been waiting for to kick-start my way back into the literary world.

Duffy and new music and getting back to me

J and I had a nice talk yesterday during Date Day about how I get lazy now that I'm married because I just want to cozy up and watch tv with him and I have lost all my goals and ambitions. He was very understanding, and said that he didn't like to see me get lazy either, and so he would help encourage me to not be lazy (which is funny because he's so not ambitious himself, but very much wants to support me). So today is my early new year's resolution of Not Being Lazy.

To that end I am doing some new things.
1. Listening to new music that I have been meaning to listen to but didn't because I've been lazy - today it's duffy - I LOVE her mix of beatles and norah jones.
2. working out five times a week to get more energy
3. cutting back on sugar, also for energy
4. drinking more water, also for energy
5. going to one museum a month
6. finding a church for spirituality and friends
7. finding a choir or starting one
8. reading at least one "smart" book a month (ie not chicklit or stupid fiction)
9. journaling and meditating daily
10. playing the piano a few times a week.

those are my new year's resolutions to get me back to me.

Sunday morning football in London - and mini self-Pep-Rally

The Saints and Chargers are at Wembley today, and I'm not in London. I'm getting kind of annoyed with myself these days. When I first came back from England in 2002 (where have the last 6 years gone?) I was all committed to getting back there right away. I was completely in action about it. Writing to people, submitting stuff everywhere, going back all the time to make sure people remembered me. In my defense, I was 25, living back at home, didn't have 9 cats, wasn't married, and had a lot more energy. But ok, so I had more energy and time. But so what? Am I still committed to being able to live in London part time? If so, I need to get off my butt and make it happen.

Ok. So that's my pep talk to myself.

It's Sunday, which means laundry, cleaning up, fresh litter boxes, and cooking.

Also, I'm finally participating in National Novel Writing Month, so I need to start brainstorming and working on that a bit. Nothing too exciting. A nice fall day. Maybe a fire in the fireplace later and pumpkin carving. And writing. And working out. And dreaming. Yay for sundays.