If you have to grieve, I highly recommend Springtime as the best season in which to do so. All the renewal, the world getting lighter, and birds singing, the snow melting...all of it reminding you that life goes on, and that you will get strong again. October is a pretty nasty time to start grieving...the world getting darker, things dying all around you, it's getting cold, the nights are long.
We're in the season of Lent, which is supposed to be marked by quiet thoughtfulness, meditation, and reflection. But I think I'm a liturgical season ahead, because I'm not feeling very quietly reflective at the moment. I'm ready for the Resurrection, and the daffodils and celebration. I've had enough of all this sadness. I'm sick of it.
So, in a spirit that I'm pretty sure God will understand, I'm giving up being miserable for Lent. I've spent five months being wound-up and miserable, and I think I could use a 40 day break.
But I'm not just saying this willy-nilly. I'm serious about it. I'm taking actions that will forward my commitment to non-misery. I'm quietly and thoughtfully throwing off all the darkness that's been following me around for the past five months.
J and I have decided that we're not going to try to get pregnant again until the fall. So, in true George Costanza fashion, I am declaring this: The Season of Heather.
We're both on a cleaning-spree, which has already led to two trips to the thrift store, with another one planned tomorrow (they're closed Monday or it would have been today). The bookshelves are dust free. And I'm completely caught up on laundry.
Since last Tuesday, when I started keeping count, I've exercised five times. I've been averaging six glasses of water a day. And I even plucked my eyebrows again today, twice in as many weeks. My hair is cut well and highlighted, and every day we're doing small chores around the house so that when the weekend comes, I don't spend six hours on Saturday catching up on housework, like I've always done in the past.
I'm eating at least one big salad a day, and I've got flowers all around me. I've started The Artist's Way again, and I've learned how to make the most amazing iced mocha's with my blender and espresso machine, which I can drink because I'm not pregnant. And I've even booked the petsitter for our cruise already, and didn't wait until the last minute and then stress about it, like I've done in the past.
I think God will be ok with me throwing off misery for Lent, as long as I'm really taking it on, and not just doing it to say I'm giving something up, but it doesn't really mean anything.