Saturday, June 25, 2011

I voodoo, do you voodoo?

So I'm in New Orleans which is known for a couple of things - music, alcohol, girls flashing themselves for beads, parties, food, and...voodoo.  There is voodoo stuff everywhere in this town.  Palm Readers all over Jackson Square, outside of the big churches.  It's all intermingled with organized religion, and nobody seems to take it too seriously.

I decided to jump in and get a reading done at the most touristy-looking place of all.  Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo.  I decided it was a sign that I should go there when I saw one solitary newspaper article up on the wall about the store, and it was how the woman who owned it had some kind of magic spoon (not to be confused with the magic beans that the magic spoon stirs) that, when women ate soup with it (or something), helped them get pregnant (no shit.  Where do I sign up?).  I went in, said I'd never had a reading done before, and didn't say much else.

The first thing that the reader said was that my son and daughter loved me very much.  WTF?  I don't have a son and daughter, I say.  No, you do, she says.  I see them here.  It's the biggest thing in the spirit world that I see about you right now.  It's the biggest message.  Your son and your daughter are devoted to you.  Then she shuffles her cards, sees a 9 of diamonds, and says, "oh, your son and daughter you lost this past year.  Saturn's orbit sure has been a bitch to you this time around."

That's some creepy shit right there, folks. I always said it.  F*ck Saturn.  What has Saturn ever done for me? Now it all makes sense.  Stupid Saturn.

(A side note on my opinion of all things occult-like: I posted once before when I talked about the tarot cards, this stuff doesn't scare me.  It's the spirit world, and to me it's the same place where the angels are, and some people are in touch with it, and some people are able to share their gift, and being all freaked out and thinking of them as "witches" seems so medieval to me. I just don't like to give the Devil that much power, you know?  Evil feeds off of the power you give it.  If you just take things as gifts and accept them, and don't make it all "evil", things work out a lot better in the end.  I mean, five hundred years ago the priests used to read rune stones to predict the gender of the king's children.  It's all relative.  Thus endeth the lesson.)

Anyway, back to my reading.

She also said that my son - Baby T - is going to come back to me, but it might not be as a natural child I carry.  I'm apparently going to have three children.  One I will carry, one will be adopted, and she couldn't tell on the third.  The jury's still out on what my ovaries will accomplish.

She said she could tell that my partner was going to come into his own skin sometime soon and in the next few years would start a business or do something that would really amaze me and make me super-proud.  Sweet.

Apparently the worst of everything is over.  Again, this is because Saturn's orbit is receding.  Stupid planet and its stupid orbit.

What else...

Oh, she said that J is so crazy in love with me.  She said she rarely sees people with partners as crazy in love with them as my partner is with me.  Awwww.  Bless.

She picked up on travel and wanting to live abroad, and before I even mentioned anything about it, she said that I would live in many places and many countries and my children would grow up speaking many languages.  I asked how that was going to happen, and she said that a close male with brown hair and brown eyes was going to be instrumental in having it come to fruition.  She thought it was Jonathan, but he doesn't have brown hair and brown eyes.  Sandor in London, I'm looking at you for that, ok?  Make it so, Number One.

Oh, and I have four guardian angels.  I wonder whether they're anybody famous.  I can just see it.  Beethoven, Henry VIII, Heidegger and my grandma are all sitting around having tea, planning how to protect me from Saturn.  Henry VIII wants to chop some of its rings off.  Beethoven wants to scream at it.  And Heidegger wants to question whether it exists at all, and if naming it Saturn gives it too much power in my life. And my Grandma wants to chill out and try to appease Saturn.

Anyway, that was my psychic reading in a nutshell.  I spent the rest of the evening wandering around listening to music.  All in all, not a bad way to spend an evening.

No comments: