Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Hi there people... Long Time No Blog!  Man, I've been busy.  We went back home to Amish country Pennsylvania for five blissful days of being social with the folks who've known me since I was in diapers, which was actually exhausting.  Man, we are so totally unsocial out here.  I'm out of practice.  It was nonstop social-butterfly-ness.  My throat got sore and I ran out of things to talk about.  Except with my dad.  Have you ever noticed how, when you go home, even if you're 35 like me, you suddenly revert to being a 13 year old again around your parents?  Maybe it goes away once you have kids of your own (which I am supposed to know about, but don't yet...ahem, cue tiny violins) or maybe it's just me, but I found all kinds of shit to argue about with my dad.

Like so:

1) Britney Spears' music is not terrible, and there were plenty of bubblegum bands in the 50's. Isn't that where the term came from in the first place.  They weren't all The Platters.  For every Fatz Domino singing about Blueberry Hill, there were probably a dozen Britney Spears-alikes of cookie cutter harmonies.

Let's check.

Hang on, that might be wrong.  I googled top songs of 1957, and they're all actually kind of good.  I mean, I'm not going to go clubbing to them, but even a promising one called "Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu" had some funkiness.  That was the only one on the list that I hadn't heard before, or didn't know, and I expected it to be lousy (a word that reminds me of 1957 in an 'aww, gee, Mrs. Cleaver, can't Wally come double date to the soda shop with us?' kind of way).  In my defense. the lyrics are pretty hit-me-baby-one-more-time awful:

I wanna squeeze her but I'm way too low
I would be runnin' but my feets too slow
Young man rhythm's got a hold of me too
I got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu

Maybe I just appreciate all kinds of music, so it's a bad argument to have.  And really, Brit's music has gotten a lot better in the past few years.  At least, her producers have.  I really like her new album.  Really.

So whatever.  That one's a tie.

2) Posting on Facebook does NOT mean that the police have access to your bank account.  My dad is a privacy freak.  I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he grew up in post-WW2 East Germany, but his biggest fear is Big Brother.  He hates cameras on the street.  He hates facebook.  He hates the GPS on phones.  He hates gun laws.  He hates helmet laws.  

My dad needs to join the Michigan Militia. 

Are they even around anymore?

Google break... cue Jeopardy Music...

Yep, they are, claiming that they're Homeland Defense, with a page on their website devoted to Militia Babes.  Stay classy, Michigan.  Stay classy.

So yeah, my dad.  He's got something going on with the whole privacy thing, and it's hella freaky.  But good fodder for arguments.

3) The 50's were NOT the greatest decade ever known to man, it was NOT the most innocent time, kids these days AREN'T really that much more stupid, and perceptions are all relative.

4) Building the mosque at ground zero isn't insulting.  My dad claims it's the same as a mass murderer building a shrine to Jeffrey Dahmer outside one of his victim's home.  J pointed out, quite reasonably (despite the steam that was coming out of his ears) that my dad had just compared God to Jeffrey Dahmer.  Things got weird after that.

Yep, good times and good arguments were had by all, except my stepmom and husband, who had to listen to us bicker like we did when I was 14.

But I'm back and getting caught up now, and I'm still learning Italian and I'm still losing weight (though it's getting much harder these days) and that's the update.  Eventually I'll get back on a regular schedule.  

Teysko Out.

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