I really like Jason Derulo's music. I liked that he sampled an Imogen Heap song in his first big hit. But his next song, In My Head, got me thinking. Everybody knows that hiphop isn't realistic. Most people don't actually have yachts with the women-in-bikini's to man-in-suits ratio of about 26:1, and money flying around the dining rooms. Jason Derulo seems to know the one 7-11 in the world that turns into a club after dark. Where is that? There's supposedly a 7-11 like that in West Hollywood, but I think that's an urban legend. I'm not buying it that any 7-11 parking lot is that much of a party, slurpees or not.
But those are the videos. The lyrics are usually at least somewhat identifiable. People are being tough, or they're talking about how great they are, or they're trying to seduce a woman. But is this seduction going to be successful, I wonder? If you just went up to a girl on the street, no yachts, no money, would she buy these lyrics?
Take our friend Jason Derulo. In My Head is about a sensitive guy looking for love, noticing the girls going home with the wrong guys, and he's determined to "show them a side of love" they've never known. Which is all hot and romantic until this verse:
Some dudes know all the right things to say.
When it comes down to it, it’s all just game.
Instead of talking let me demonstrate. Yeah.
Get down to business and skip foreplay.
You had me at "skip foreplay". That's what every girl wants to hear, Jason. You have such a way with words. Please, let's leave this 7-11 parking lot right now. Let me just finish my slurpee - wait, give me a sec - ice cream headache, you know - ok. Let's split this scene and go somewhere private, and you can not take care of me.
So Jason's got me thinking about other "seductive" hip hop songs. I looked at the Billboard top hip hop and R&B singles for 2010 and randomly selected the ones with somewhat romantic-sounding names and checked out the lyrics.
Here are some of the funniest "romantic" lyrics I've found.
From Chris Brown's Your Love:
no, just wanna get you to my sex room
and do my shit and i don't mean restroom
first class, takin' bubble baths
tell her throw it in the bag like she takin' out the trash
I guess that, for someone who beats up his girlfriend, this is high class romance right here, but for the rest of humanity... is that supposed to do something for me? I'm sensing that this is all about you here, Chris. Maybe if you're going to sing a song about how great my love is, you can give me a reason to give it to you first.
Next up: Usher, There goes my Baby:
It wasn't too bad, actually, on the romance scale (sweet-sounding lyrics like:
you don't know how good it feels
to call you my girl
there goes my baby
loving everything you do
oo girl look at you)
until we get to this keeper:
baby loving you feels better than
everything, anything
put on my heart you don't need a ring
and i promise our time away won't change my love
Yep, you're right, Usher. Nobody needs a ring. Of course I don't need a ring. But seriously? If loving me feels better than everything, and time isn't going to change your love, then you can damn well put a ring on it. Enough said.
Usher's back again, with Jay-Z, in Hot Tottie:
I'm a wild boy
You tryin' tame me, baby
To the were I get it from the high
Can you keep me faithful
Got a lot of girls
Got a lot of flava
That's why when I hit 'em they all need to return the favor
Ok, I like a challenge as much as other girls, but yeah, actually, I think I'll pass. Life is too short to try to keep you faithful, to be honest. Especially now that the new season of Glee has started.
Finally, we have Miguel featuring J Cole on All I want is You:
This tells the story of a guy who lost his girl, and would like to have her back. You'd think he'd pull out all the roses and romance, right?
All my new bitches seem to get old real quick
Could it be you everything these plain bitches couldn’t be
Is it a sign from the Lord that I shouldn’t be
Lost in the Player way sorta get old to me
Got me on layaway, Girl you gotta a hold on me
Ok. So. Coupla things. 1: If you're trying to win me back, don't talk to me about your other "bitches." Talk to me about me. And how great I am. And how you suck for not seeing it before. I don't want to hear about your other bitches, sign from God or not. And 2: I know it's a rhyming thing, but layaway? Seriously? That's the best you can come up with? I got you on layaway? So you're telling me I got you on a blue-light special at a discount store, and I couldn't afford you, so I took you back and filled out some paperwork, and I paid a little bit over 8 or 12 weeks, and then I got to take you home? If you want me to come back to you, you've got to do better than that.
So, in just a few songs we have:
Skipping foreplay, potty humor, me not needing a ring, you challenging me to keep you faithful, and you apparently being for sale at a discount store a few aisles down from where I get my toothpaste.
Yep, if you took away the hot suits and money and yachts, I bet girls would be all over that. Actually, I think some would. But that, sadly, is another topic for people with more education than me to try to work out.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Why this non-pot-smoker favors prop 19
It's silly-season again, which in the Formula 1 world refers to the period of time when contracts are being renegotiated and no one is quite sure who will drive for which team next year. But the way I'm using it refers to Election Mania. This year is turning out to be quite nutty, what with the chick in Delaware who thinks there's mice with human brains running around; and, well, actually, she's the funniest thing going at the moment. Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity should be fun, but it's not actually all that funny.
California has a couple of fun things happening. I'm hoping that there's a high voter turnout for Proposition 19, which would legalize and regulate marijuana like alcohol or cigarettes. I'm a fan of this. And not because I smoke pot. I don't. I've tried it, and it makes me tired, and messes me up for days, and it's just not worth it. I'm silly enough, and eat enough junk food as it is. I don't need any other substances encouraging me in my life of sloth and video games.
Here's what I know about pot:
I know it's an ancient herb that has been smoked for five thousand years, and has proven medical uses. I also know that Americans take a crapload of drugs from so-called "pharmaceutical" companies that haven't been around as long as pot, aren't natural, and haven't been proven in the long-term.
I know that pot helps people with many diseases, from cancer patients, to people suffering from AIDS, to people who have migraines. It could actually be called an original wonder-drug.
Then I look at the people who are against Prop 19. One of the biggest lobbies funding the No on Prop 19 cause is Big Alcohol. Which leads me to another point. Whether you smoke or not, whether you think it's right to smoke or not, please tell me how alcohol can be legal and pot can't. How can it be that every nice restaurant around has a wine list, and pot isn't legal? How can it be that people joke all the time about how smashed they got over the weekend, or they sit around on Sundays watching football and drinking beer, or they can go to clubs and freely get hammered, but pot is illegal.
Alcohol has no redeeming qualities about it. It's a poison. It's a toxin. Pot, at least, has qualities that are natural, and medicinal.
Another thing. When you drink too much, you do stupid things. I know this from experience. One time when I was living in England, I drank too much and started yelling at a guy for giving his girlfriend flowers because I assumed he was a jerk who had done something bad, worth apologizing with flowers. I was angry then. But my point is, people get drunk and they do stupid things like get into fights, or have affairs, or any other number of stupid things that people do when they're drunk.
When you smoke too much pot, here's what happens: You eat a lot of Doritos, you watch some stupid Ashton Kutcher movie (ie Dude Where's my Car), and then you pass out and wake up with a kink in your neck. And you stink.
Nobody smokes pot and then gets violent and beats people up. Seriously. Find me one person who has just smoked pot (ie doesn't have any other drugs or alcohol in their system) and has committed a violent crime. Potheads pass out with their PS3 controller in one hand, and their other hand in the donut box.
The idea that we spend billions of dollars arresting people for this seriously Blows My Mind. Are you kidding me? Is that how you want your tax dollars spent? Personally, in a state where the police are behind in testing rape kits (sometimes passing the statute of limitations for prosecuting), I think it's morally and criminally wrong that police resources go to arresting and prosecuting potheads. It's beyond wrong. It's disgusting.
Now I'm not saying that pot is completely benign. Obviously it slows your reaction time, it can make you distracted, it can make you eat a lot of junk food. So regulate it, like we do tobacco and alcohol. That's what Prop 19 does.
Oh, I haven't even touched on the drug cartels yet. It's estimated that up to 60% of the profits of drug cartels comes from marijuana. Why do we continue wasting our tax money while we line the pockets of the Bad People when it could be the other way around? Take the money from the Bad People, and use it in our schools. And free up police man-hours and overcrowded jails while we're at it. Two for one.
I mean, look at what happened to organized crime during prohibition. Prohibition doesn't work, period.
Some people say that legalizing marijuana is a slippery slope, and that pot is a gateway drug. Maybe it's a gateway drug because kids get it from drug dealers. Maybe, if you made it available freely, people wouldn't talk to drug dealers as much, and they wouldn't be drawn into other drugs.
Prop 19 supporters currently have a small edge with 6 weeks to go. I'm hoping that common sense will outweigh fear tactics. It will happen sooner or later. We won't keep fighting this losing war on drugs forever. It's just a matter of how much more money we're going to waste on it.
That's why I gave money to LEAP - Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. They are responsible people with backgrounds in law enforcement who are countering the fear mongering that is being backed by pharmaceutical and alcohol companies.
I used to go to a 7-11 that was across from a pot dispensary in Hollywood. I asked the guy who owned it whether he liked the location, and he said he loved the marijuana customers. They bought so much stuff, he said. It was so good for business. So maybe we can get the junk-food lobby throwing some money towards legalization???
California has a couple of fun things happening. I'm hoping that there's a high voter turnout for Proposition 19, which would legalize and regulate marijuana like alcohol or cigarettes. I'm a fan of this. And not because I smoke pot. I don't. I've tried it, and it makes me tired, and messes me up for days, and it's just not worth it. I'm silly enough, and eat enough junk food as it is. I don't need any other substances encouraging me in my life of sloth and video games.
Here's what I know about pot:
I know it's an ancient herb that has been smoked for five thousand years, and has proven medical uses. I also know that Americans take a crapload of drugs from so-called "pharmaceutical" companies that haven't been around as long as pot, aren't natural, and haven't been proven in the long-term.
I know that pot helps people with many diseases, from cancer patients, to people suffering from AIDS, to people who have migraines. It could actually be called an original wonder-drug.
Then I look at the people who are against Prop 19. One of the biggest lobbies funding the No on Prop 19 cause is Big Alcohol. Which leads me to another point. Whether you smoke or not, whether you think it's right to smoke or not, please tell me how alcohol can be legal and pot can't. How can it be that every nice restaurant around has a wine list, and pot isn't legal? How can it be that people joke all the time about how smashed they got over the weekend, or they sit around on Sundays watching football and drinking beer, or they can go to clubs and freely get hammered, but pot is illegal.
Alcohol has no redeeming qualities about it. It's a poison. It's a toxin. Pot, at least, has qualities that are natural, and medicinal.
Another thing. When you drink too much, you do stupid things. I know this from experience. One time when I was living in England, I drank too much and started yelling at a guy for giving his girlfriend flowers because I assumed he was a jerk who had done something bad, worth apologizing with flowers. I was angry then. But my point is, people get drunk and they do stupid things like get into fights, or have affairs, or any other number of stupid things that people do when they're drunk.
When you smoke too much pot, here's what happens: You eat a lot of Doritos, you watch some stupid Ashton Kutcher movie (ie Dude Where's my Car), and then you pass out and wake up with a kink in your neck. And you stink.
Nobody smokes pot and then gets violent and beats people up. Seriously. Find me one person who has just smoked pot (ie doesn't have any other drugs or alcohol in their system) and has committed a violent crime. Potheads pass out with their PS3 controller in one hand, and their other hand in the donut box.
The idea that we spend billions of dollars arresting people for this seriously Blows My Mind. Are you kidding me? Is that how you want your tax dollars spent? Personally, in a state where the police are behind in testing rape kits (sometimes passing the statute of limitations for prosecuting), I think it's morally and criminally wrong that police resources go to arresting and prosecuting potheads. It's beyond wrong. It's disgusting.
Now I'm not saying that pot is completely benign. Obviously it slows your reaction time, it can make you distracted, it can make you eat a lot of junk food. So regulate it, like we do tobacco and alcohol. That's what Prop 19 does.
Oh, I haven't even touched on the drug cartels yet. It's estimated that up to 60% of the profits of drug cartels comes from marijuana. Why do we continue wasting our tax money while we line the pockets of the Bad People when it could be the other way around? Take the money from the Bad People, and use it in our schools. And free up police man-hours and overcrowded jails while we're at it. Two for one.
I mean, look at what happened to organized crime during prohibition. Prohibition doesn't work, period.
Some people say that legalizing marijuana is a slippery slope, and that pot is a gateway drug. Maybe it's a gateway drug because kids get it from drug dealers. Maybe, if you made it available freely, people wouldn't talk to drug dealers as much, and they wouldn't be drawn into other drugs.
Prop 19 supporters currently have a small edge with 6 weeks to go. I'm hoping that common sense will outweigh fear tactics. It will happen sooner or later. We won't keep fighting this losing war on drugs forever. It's just a matter of how much more money we're going to waste on it.
That's why I gave money to LEAP - Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. They are responsible people with backgrounds in law enforcement who are countering the fear mongering that is being backed by pharmaceutical and alcohol companies.
I used to go to a 7-11 that was across from a pot dispensary in Hollywood. I asked the guy who owned it whether he liked the location, and he said he loved the marijuana customers. They bought so much stuff, he said. It was so good for business. So maybe we can get the junk-food lobby throwing some money towards legalization???
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Party Animal and Pet Peeves
This weekend hubs and I went to Epicenter 2010, a big rock festival type of thing at the Fontana raceway. I was really looking forward to rocking out and feeling 24 again, but my almost-19-weeks pregnant body had other ideas. Especially since it was 100 degrees. My mind wanted to go hang out near the front and scream and yell and jump up and down. My body, which won out, wanted to stay in the cooling tent, which was a tent set up with lots of water misters, so you could just sit and get a lovely light mist on you. So I hung out there, and read ebooks on my phone. Party animal that I am. Hubby would come back and keep me company after each concert for half an hour while they were setting up for the next one. I tried to leave the tent and get in the action for Eminem, but there was so much smoke - both cigarette and pot - that I had to leave. I felt like a fuddy duddy, but whatever. Today I feel kind of sick, so I don't know whether I'm going back, which really bums me out because Blink is playing tonight. I might just drop hubby off, and then go hang out in an air-conditioned store for a while, and then come back when it's dark. 100 degrees is just too hot to be walking a mile through a parking lot.
I did have fun people-watching though. I always enjoy playing Fashion Do's and Dont's when I'm at places like that. Like Do: wear sensible walking shoes. Don't: wear 4 inch heels. It doesn't make you look hot. It makes you look stupid. Especially when you're clearly teetering around in them, and look like you're about to trip any second.
And to the girl in the red cardigan: Look, I know you're a big girl. I know you don't want to draw attention to yourself. I'm right there with you. But seriously. It's 100 degrees out and everybody else is wearing bikini tops and shorts and at the most, t-shirts. So you, walking in your long dark jeans and dark tshirt and red cardigan - you're actually drawing more attention to yourself than if you would just wear something sleeveless. Listen, I know how you feel. The first time I went sleeveless, I felt totally naked. But here's a thought - no matter how big or small someone is, they are probably thinking about their own arms much more than they're thinking about yours. And also, I don't know whether you realize this or not, but the cardigan doesn't actually hide that you have big arms. It just makes them red. And there's no way to draw more attention to yourself than to have a heat stroke because you're trying to keep up with your cutoff-clad friends. So seriously, please, take off the cardigan and put some shorts on. Please. I'm worried about you.
It reminds me of the big girls who go swimming with t-shirts on over their suits. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. Because here's the thing. T-shirts, when they get wet, actually cling to you. So you're not actually hiding anything, and you're just drawing attention to yourself because you're swimming in a t-shirt. I know the idea of just wearing a swimsuit is scary. Heck, even skinny girls get nervous shopping for swimsuits. I don't actually know this from experience, not being skinny myself, but I read about it in magazines. So I know that if you're big and embarrassed about it, the idea of wearing a t-shirt over top of your suit is appealing. And that's fine when you're dry . I have no problem with it when you're dry. But when you get into the water, suddenly you become a Big Girl In A Wet T-Shirt Contest. And everybody looks at you because it's unusual to go swimming in a t-shirt. So then not only does everybody look at you, but then they all figure it out that you're trying to cover up your pudge, and then they laugh to themselves because it's not working.
So please, Big Girls of the World, please stop drawing attention to yourselves by wearing Too Many Clothes. It doesn't help. It really doesn't.
On the other end of the spectrum, the woman wearing a yellow halter top in a size 26 with silver horizontal sequin strips without a bra - you should be taken home immediately. Simply removed from society until you can learn how to dress yourself. Why do clothing companies make yellow halter tops in a size 26? Can I make that illegal? Can I make it illegal for size 26 women to go without a bra? It's not doing anybody any favors, lady. Least of all you. So go home and put some clothes on. Please.
Incidentally, my other big pet peeve in life is when people send you a message saying the meeting will be at 10am PST and it's July. Look, 10am PST in July is actually 11am. We jump ahead. We're in Daylight Savings Time. Hello? Do you not remember moving all your clocks forward? Don't even use the S if you're going to use it wrong. Just say 10am pacific time. If you can't keep it straight whether we're in daylight time or standard time, just don't mention either. Please. It's seriously annoying. I get snarky with people. I write back and say, "I'm confused. 10am PST is actually 11am in daylight time, which is what we're in, so can you clarify the time of the meeting, please, because I don't want to miss it." I don't care if it upsets them. They're the dumbasses who can't keep it straight what time of year it is.
I'm cranky today. Time for a nap.
I did have fun people-watching though. I always enjoy playing Fashion Do's and Dont's when I'm at places like that. Like Do: wear sensible walking shoes. Don't: wear 4 inch heels. It doesn't make you look hot. It makes you look stupid. Especially when you're clearly teetering around in them, and look like you're about to trip any second.
And to the girl in the red cardigan: Look, I know you're a big girl. I know you don't want to draw attention to yourself. I'm right there with you. But seriously. It's 100 degrees out and everybody else is wearing bikini tops and shorts and at the most, t-shirts. So you, walking in your long dark jeans and dark tshirt and red cardigan - you're actually drawing more attention to yourself than if you would just wear something sleeveless. Listen, I know how you feel. The first time I went sleeveless, I felt totally naked. But here's a thought - no matter how big or small someone is, they are probably thinking about their own arms much more than they're thinking about yours. And also, I don't know whether you realize this or not, but the cardigan doesn't actually hide that you have big arms. It just makes them red. And there's no way to draw more attention to yourself than to have a heat stroke because you're trying to keep up with your cutoff-clad friends. So seriously, please, take off the cardigan and put some shorts on. Please. I'm worried about you.
It reminds me of the big girls who go swimming with t-shirts on over their suits. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. Because here's the thing. T-shirts, when they get wet, actually cling to you. So you're not actually hiding anything, and you're just drawing attention to yourself because you're swimming in a t-shirt. I know the idea of just wearing a swimsuit is scary. Heck, even skinny girls get nervous shopping for swimsuits. I don't actually know this from experience, not being skinny myself, but I read about it in magazines. So I know that if you're big and embarrassed about it, the idea of wearing a t-shirt over top of your suit is appealing. And that's fine when you're dry . I have no problem with it when you're dry. But when you get into the water, suddenly you become a Big Girl In A Wet T-Shirt Contest. And everybody looks at you because it's unusual to go swimming in a t-shirt. So then not only does everybody look at you, but then they all figure it out that you're trying to cover up your pudge, and then they laugh to themselves because it's not working.
So please, Big Girls of the World, please stop drawing attention to yourselves by wearing Too Many Clothes. It doesn't help. It really doesn't.
On the other end of the spectrum, the woman wearing a yellow halter top in a size 26 with silver horizontal sequin strips without a bra - you should be taken home immediately. Simply removed from society until you can learn how to dress yourself. Why do clothing companies make yellow halter tops in a size 26? Can I make that illegal? Can I make it illegal for size 26 women to go without a bra? It's not doing anybody any favors, lady. Least of all you. So go home and put some clothes on. Please.
Incidentally, my other big pet peeve in life is when people send you a message saying the meeting will be at 10am PST and it's July. Look, 10am PST in July is actually 11am. We jump ahead. We're in Daylight Savings Time. Hello? Do you not remember moving all your clocks forward? Don't even use the S if you're going to use it wrong. Just say 10am pacific time. If you can't keep it straight whether we're in daylight time or standard time, just don't mention either. Please. It's seriously annoying. I get snarky with people. I write back and say, "I'm confused. 10am PST is actually 11am in daylight time, which is what we're in, so can you clarify the time of the meeting, please, because I don't want to miss it." I don't care if it upsets them. They're the dumbasses who can't keep it straight what time of year it is.
I'm cranky today. Time for a nap.
Monday, September 20, 2010
It's the Internet's Fault
I know there's such a thing as pregnancy brain, but I think this is something different. I have been reading (actually, listening to - I love me my audible subscription) The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. I'm not all the way through with it yet, but frankly, what I've listened to so far is frightening enough. Now I'm not a luddite. I embrace the internet more than your average person. Heck, I had my first internet relationship in 1994 (he would send me .gif's of roses, which took three hours to download). I met my husband on Craigslist (yep, seriously). I learned html in 1998 and started a website which was the number one result on Yahoo for several years (at least, when you searched for Colonial America, that is). I started blogging in 2002. I'm not afraid of the internet. Let me make that abundantly clear. I'm not afraid of the internet.
Here's what I am afraid of. I'm afraid of ADD. I'm afraid that nobody's concentrating on anything anymore. I'm afraid of this because I share a freeway with these people.
For example, in The Shallows Carr gives evidence of university students at major Ivy League colleges not having to read entire books any longer. What's worse is that they're English majors! Apparently nobody under 25 is reading books any longer. People are skimming, living life around the edges, never wading in beyond their knees. Going in, googling, glancing at results, grabbing quotes, and leaving; moving on to the next assignment.
To me, this means something more than just the idea that there are worlds of literary characters that these kids will never become friends with (Anne of Green Gables was my best friend throughout junior high). It means that we're losing the ability to think deeply, to get our brains into that place of deep thought and concentration and creativity, being able to examine problems and issues from all angles and really dig into something deep. This is rewarding on its own because you have a clearer picture of the issue, but it's also necessary for optimal physical health. Look at all the people doing yoga and meditation. Deep thought stimulates your brain in ways that floating around on the surface doesn't.
So now there's a movement called Slow Reading (this article from the Guardian introduces it). Like the slow food movement before us (pretty self-explanatory - you need to take the time to really enjoy and digest what you're eating, as opposed to chowing down in your car while sitting on the freeway), the Slow Readers want us to connect to the words again, to really drink things in, to take the time to fully understand the message of the author, our interpretation of it, and any opinions about it that we might have.
Tracy Seeley, a slow-reading blogger, is quoted in the Guardian article, saying that slow reading should not, "just be the province of the intellectuals. Careful and slow reading, and deep attention, is a challenge for all of us."
There are so many pulls for our attention at any given moment. I find it ironic that things like yoga and meditation and chanting, etc., are all becoming so popular - like the Eat Pray Love phenomenon - we're all desperate to figure out a way to take time out and slow down, and yet we keep clicking, keep twittering, keep 4squaring, keep doing every new thing that comes around. Me, I'm not into the 4square thing (I was, and then I got pranked at 7-11, so now I'm over it). I rarely tweet. In fact, I'm going to sit at my meditation altar in a second, and have 10 minutes of silence.
But maybe I should read this Wired article first - The Web is Dead. Long live the Internet. Perhaps the pendulum is moving back to the middle?
Here's what I am afraid of. I'm afraid of ADD. I'm afraid that nobody's concentrating on anything anymore. I'm afraid of this because I share a freeway with these people.
For example, in The Shallows Carr gives evidence of university students at major Ivy League colleges not having to read entire books any longer. What's worse is that they're English majors! Apparently nobody under 25 is reading books any longer. People are skimming, living life around the edges, never wading in beyond their knees. Going in, googling, glancing at results, grabbing quotes, and leaving; moving on to the next assignment.
To me, this means something more than just the idea that there are worlds of literary characters that these kids will never become friends with (Anne of Green Gables was my best friend throughout junior high). It means that we're losing the ability to think deeply, to get our brains into that place of deep thought and concentration and creativity, being able to examine problems and issues from all angles and really dig into something deep. This is rewarding on its own because you have a clearer picture of the issue, but it's also necessary for optimal physical health. Look at all the people doing yoga and meditation. Deep thought stimulates your brain in ways that floating around on the surface doesn't.
So now there's a movement called Slow Reading (this article from the Guardian introduces it). Like the slow food movement before us (pretty self-explanatory - you need to take the time to really enjoy and digest what you're eating, as opposed to chowing down in your car while sitting on the freeway), the Slow Readers want us to connect to the words again, to really drink things in, to take the time to fully understand the message of the author, our interpretation of it, and any opinions about it that we might have.
Tracy Seeley, a slow-reading blogger, is quoted in the Guardian article, saying that slow reading should not, "just be the province of the intellectuals. Careful and slow reading, and deep attention, is a challenge for all of us."
There are so many pulls for our attention at any given moment. I find it ironic that things like yoga and meditation and chanting, etc., are all becoming so popular - like the Eat Pray Love phenomenon - we're all desperate to figure out a way to take time out and slow down, and yet we keep clicking, keep twittering, keep 4squaring, keep doing every new thing that comes around. Me, I'm not into the 4square thing (I was, and then I got pranked at 7-11, so now I'm over it). I rarely tweet. In fact, I'm going to sit at my meditation altar in a second, and have 10 minutes of silence.
But maybe I should read this Wired article first - The Web is Dead. Long live the Internet. Perhaps the pendulum is moving back to the middle?
Friday, September 17, 2010
I'm staging a stress-intervention on myself
Setting the scene for my blogging tonight:
1. The Beatles - Across the Universe - playing - really loudly
2. Candles - the mango ones from Ikea. I'm trying to use them up because they smell summery, and it's time for fall-smelling candles, but I have way too many candles anyway (wasn't there a line in Sex and the City where Samantha talks about how candles are the single woman's new version of cats?) and I don't want to keep them all winter.
3. Just got out of a bubblebath and smell like lemon. I like lemon-scented things.
So this is my stress-intervention.
I'm nearly at a breaking point, and I have to do something, so I'm pulling out every stress-relief tip I can remember from the past 17 years of reading magazines, self-help books, personal development seminars, yoga, meditation, etc. I even sat at my Simple Abundance altar - a shelf on my bookcase that has lots of my favorite pictures - me in the greenery of Bath, me in Scarborough, photos by Joe Cornish, a nice little laughing Buddha, a calming dolphin I painted at Color Me Mine 12 years ago, and a stack of these angel meditation affirmation cards I've been lugging around for about 14 years and never really read. I've got to get in the habit of using all these things because here's what's going on:
1) I'm pregnant. As if we didn't know that already. I am seriously suffering from a case of unrealized-expectations. I thought the whole second-trimester thing was supposed to be great. But maybe because I wasn't so bad in the first, or for whatever reason, mine is pretty much sucking. The worst is the insomnia. I'm really affected by sleep - I don't function well on less than 7 hours, and never have. But these days I'm waking up at 3am. My belly is also getting bigger, which is making my back hurt, particularly when I sit. I'm trying to do regular exercise, but with the whole waking-up-at-3am thing, and being exhausted, it hasn't been happening as much as I'd like. It's all giving a distinct gray and nasty color to everything that happens throughout my day.
not the least of which is including...
2) My hubby getting sober. I don't want to say too much about this because it's his journey, and mine is through alanon, but suffice it to say, hubby wants to be sober when Baby T is born, and has 54 days, thanks to AA and the support of an amazing group of men who are standing for him making it one day at a time. I'd like to be proud of him, but it's hard sometimes when he's being a royal sh*t. He's also been in this really intensive 6-month Landmark course, which has been putting him through the ringer as well, so he's got it coming at him from two fronts. That has come to an epic conclusion this week, so I'm hoping that once he can fully concentrate on the twelve steps and not be dealing with himself from so many angles, that he'll be a little calmer. And less grumpy.
And then there are the little daily things that happen to just royally f*ck with your head. Like:
3) My bank account got hacked on Thursday. So now the bank opened a new account and moved everything over, but I won't have access to that account for at least a week or two while the new atm cards are being sent. Stupid fraudsters.
And then today,
4) My car wouldn't start. Needed a new battery, which hubby has procured and put in, which is great, so it's well and happy now, but when it refused to start this morning, I decided it was time for the stress intervention, because I almost lost it.
So here's what I'm committed to doing.
1) Meditating at my altar every day, at least for 10 minutes, if not longer.
2) Journalling
3) Listening to my favorite music, and only my favorite music, all day
4) Drinking lots of water
5) Spending time outside every day
6) Going to at least one alanon meeting a week
7) Learning the things that really work for me, that aren't covered in this list, and putting them into practice. Habits to cultivate now, so that when Baby comes, I will already have a solid foundation of taking care of myself.
On an upshot, I'm really hoping I can make it to Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity in DC at the end of October. I had wanted to go home anyway, and it would work out perfectly to make a trip back to PA and then join the Million-Moderate-March. Jon Stewart should be President. Seriously. Weirder things have happened. Like Al Franken, for instance.
Here comes the sun.
1. The Beatles - Across the Universe - playing - really loudly
2. Candles - the mango ones from Ikea. I'm trying to use them up because they smell summery, and it's time for fall-smelling candles, but I have way too many candles anyway (wasn't there a line in Sex and the City where Samantha talks about how candles are the single woman's new version of cats?) and I don't want to keep them all winter.
3. Just got out of a bubblebath and smell like lemon. I like lemon-scented things.
So this is my stress-intervention.
I'm nearly at a breaking point, and I have to do something, so I'm pulling out every stress-relief tip I can remember from the past 17 years of reading magazines, self-help books, personal development seminars, yoga, meditation, etc. I even sat at my Simple Abundance altar - a shelf on my bookcase that has lots of my favorite pictures - me in the greenery of Bath, me in Scarborough, photos by Joe Cornish, a nice little laughing Buddha, a calming dolphin I painted at Color Me Mine 12 years ago, and a stack of these angel meditation affirmation cards I've been lugging around for about 14 years and never really read. I've got to get in the habit of using all these things because here's what's going on:
1) I'm pregnant. As if we didn't know that already. I am seriously suffering from a case of unrealized-expectations. I thought the whole second-trimester thing was supposed to be great. But maybe because I wasn't so bad in the first, or for whatever reason, mine is pretty much sucking. The worst is the insomnia. I'm really affected by sleep - I don't function well on less than 7 hours, and never have. But these days I'm waking up at 3am. My belly is also getting bigger, which is making my back hurt, particularly when I sit. I'm trying to do regular exercise, but with the whole waking-up-at-3am thing, and being exhausted, it hasn't been happening as much as I'd like. It's all giving a distinct gray and nasty color to everything that happens throughout my day.
not the least of which is including...
2) My hubby getting sober. I don't want to say too much about this because it's his journey, and mine is through alanon, but suffice it to say, hubby wants to be sober when Baby T is born, and has 54 days, thanks to AA and the support of an amazing group of men who are standing for him making it one day at a time. I'd like to be proud of him, but it's hard sometimes when he's being a royal sh*t. He's also been in this really intensive 6-month Landmark course, which has been putting him through the ringer as well, so he's got it coming at him from two fronts. That has come to an epic conclusion this week, so I'm hoping that once he can fully concentrate on the twelve steps and not be dealing with himself from so many angles, that he'll be a little calmer. And less grumpy.
And then there are the little daily things that happen to just royally f*ck with your head. Like:
3) My bank account got hacked on Thursday. So now the bank opened a new account and moved everything over, but I won't have access to that account for at least a week or two while the new atm cards are being sent. Stupid fraudsters.
And then today,
4) My car wouldn't start. Needed a new battery, which hubby has procured and put in, which is great, so it's well and happy now, but when it refused to start this morning, I decided it was time for the stress intervention, because I almost lost it.
So here's what I'm committed to doing.
1) Meditating at my altar every day, at least for 10 minutes, if not longer.
2) Journalling
3) Listening to my favorite music, and only my favorite music, all day
4) Drinking lots of water
5) Spending time outside every day
6) Going to at least one alanon meeting a week
7) Learning the things that really work for me, that aren't covered in this list, and putting them into practice. Habits to cultivate now, so that when Baby comes, I will already have a solid foundation of taking care of myself.
On an upshot, I'm really hoping I can make it to Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity in DC at the end of October. I had wanted to go home anyway, and it would work out perfectly to make a trip back to PA and then join the Million-Moderate-March. Jon Stewart should be President. Seriously. Weirder things have happened. Like Al Franken, for instance.
Here comes the sun.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Project Runway, and days of the week I love
One of my favorite things in the world is Project Runway. It's got drama, but not stupid Survivor drama. Not that I know what Survivor-Drama is since I've never watched it, but I think it has a lot to do with people plotting which teammate to throw out, and maybe people sleeping with each other in the jungle. Project Runway has drama where people (to steal this year's most-used phrase) "throw each other under the bus" and talk crap about their designs, but there's not a lot of drunk people accidentally sleeping with their sister's boyfriend like there is on The Real World and other pseudo-reality shows that I've watched. Plus Runway has awesome clothes. If not the ones made by the designers, at least the ones that Heidi wears, and there are lush fabrics, and bright colors, and lots of creativity.
So Thursday is my new favorite day. Over the summer my favorite day was Wednesday because that's when each new week of my pregnancy starts (week 18 starts today, for example. Hip Hip Hooray!). But now my new favorite day is Thursday, closely followed by Monday, because that's when Dating in the Dark is on, and I'm ashamed to admit how much I love DITD (note: I first saw DITD in England - it's a British import - at Sandor's house. And he said he thought it was an interesting sociological experiment. So now that's the term I'm using now to describe why I like it).
My next favorite day is Tuesday, because that's when the Una LaMarche episode recaps of Runway come out on the Huffington Post. I love her recaps almost as much as I love the show itself. She's sassy and funny and I have a total girl-crush on her. I especially love how she hates on Gretchen and Ivy, because I think they both seem pretty b*tchy.
Anyway, in other news, Baby T is beginning to poo this week. Now I not only have a baby growing inside of me, but a baby growing and pooping inside of me. Joy!
So Thursday is my new favorite day. Over the summer my favorite day was Wednesday because that's when each new week of my pregnancy starts (week 18 starts today, for example. Hip Hip Hooray!). But now my new favorite day is Thursday, closely followed by Monday, because that's when Dating in the Dark is on, and I'm ashamed to admit how much I love DITD (note: I first saw DITD in England - it's a British import - at Sandor's house. And he said he thought it was an interesting sociological experiment. So now that's the term I'm using now to describe why I like it).
My next favorite day is Tuesday, because that's when the Una LaMarche episode recaps of Runway come out on the Huffington Post. I love her recaps almost as much as I love the show itself. She's sassy and funny and I have a total girl-crush on her. I especially love how she hates on Gretchen and Ivy, because I think they both seem pretty b*tchy.
Anyway, in other news, Baby T is beginning to poo this week. Now I not only have a baby growing inside of me, but a baby growing and pooping inside of me. Joy!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Trance music and getting high
I have had a pseudo-love-affair with trance music for almost a decade, since I would go to clubs and raves, and, instead of taking drugs, would stand by the biggest speakers and feel the music pulsing around through my blood stream. I used to tell J that trance music made me high, and he was like, "yeah, right, that's a trick," and didn't really believe me. And then one time we were driving home from Ikea, and because of the furniture we had bought, I had to sit in the back seat with my head crammed against the back panel where the speaker happened to be situated. He put on Airwave, and I proceeded to become stoned. When we got home, I was totally out of it and rolled out of the back seat on to the ground when he opened the door, and then proceeded to burst into a fit of giggles. So he started to believe me that trance music had an actual physical effect on me.
I've been getting headaches lately, supposedly a common symptom of second-trimester pregnancy I'm told, and I can't take my normal pain reliever, ibuprophen. Last night I was seriously feeling the pain, and I decided to try out Tiesto as a pain-reliever. I pumped up the speakers until they were about to burst, turned off all the lights, and Tiesto proceeded to take me away to a land of purple rivers and green skies and chocolate elephants. It was awesome. After my headache dissipated I decided to check out whether there is any truth to the idea that trance music makes you high.
And I'm apparently not the only person wondering this. Tons of people write into Yahoo Questions and similar places asking why they feel high after listening to trance music. Some answers include things like:
The repetition is inducing a trance-like state. Some cultures use repetitive music for religious ceremonies to help the participants get into trance or dream-like states in order to communicate with 'the gods'. You might be experiencing something like that. At least you're doing it without Ecstasy.
But the best answer I saw referenced a 2004 study that showed that trance music does similar stuff to your brain as REM sleep. So you're more creative and meditative when listening to it. I'm still trying to get my hands on a copy of the study, but here's a summary.
Also in the summary:
I've been getting headaches lately, supposedly a common symptom of second-trimester pregnancy I'm told, and I can't take my normal pain reliever, ibuprophen. Last night I was seriously feeling the pain, and I decided to try out Tiesto as a pain-reliever. I pumped up the speakers until they were about to burst, turned off all the lights, and Tiesto proceeded to take me away to a land of purple rivers and green skies and chocolate elephants. It was awesome. After my headache dissipated I decided to check out whether there is any truth to the idea that trance music makes you high.
And I'm apparently not the only person wondering this. Tons of people write into Yahoo Questions and similar places asking why they feel high after listening to trance music. Some answers include things like:
The repetition is inducing a trance-like state. Some cultures use repetitive music for religious ceremonies to help the participants get into trance or dream-like states in order to communicate with 'the gods'. You might be experiencing something like that. At least you're doing it without Ecstasy.
But the best answer I saw referenced a 2004 study that showed that trance music does similar stuff to your brain as REM sleep. So you're more creative and meditative when listening to it. I'm still trying to get my hands on a copy of the study, but here's a summary.
Also in the summary:
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Things that are making me happy today
My little town is turning into quite the artsy-fartsy place. The second monthly Art-tiques Walk took place on Saturday night, which was fun. We went out and bought a lovely photography print from John Hummell called Glazed April - frost on the trees on the rim...totally beautiful. They are starting a mentoring program and classes up here, so I'm excited about that. I love all the cool stuff my town is doing. Yay!
Baby Teysko is almost 16 weeks old in my belly, which is totally cool. I'm getting a lot more energy back. Actually woke up before the alarm this morning. I'm still not sleeping very well, but I'm excited and happy that I don't feel like crap every day now.
I'm also happy because I'm getting rid of junk. We went to a flea market two weeks ago and got rid of about 15 garbage-bags worth of stuff and made $178. And now I'm selling more stuff on ebay, and getting rid of my elliptical, which makes me sad because I really do use it and love it, but I'm excited to have the space back, so that we can actually start making the nursery.
And finally, I'm super-excited because we agreed that I should go to England in October. I think I'm going to go up to Cambridge for a night and get up super-early in the morning and take pictures of the bridges and the mist. That will be just heavenly. I can't wait!
So those are all the things I am supremely happy about today. And it was a three day weekend. Every weekend should be a three day weekend. When I become Queen, I shall decree it. J and I had a Stupid Movie Festival and watched Cop Out, Hot Tub Time Machine, and other silly movies. Good times.
Baby Teysko is almost 16 weeks old in my belly, which is totally cool. I'm getting a lot more energy back. Actually woke up before the alarm this morning. I'm still not sleeping very well, but I'm excited and happy that I don't feel like crap every day now.
I'm also happy because I'm getting rid of junk. We went to a flea market two weeks ago and got rid of about 15 garbage-bags worth of stuff and made $178. And now I'm selling more stuff on ebay, and getting rid of my elliptical, which makes me sad because I really do use it and love it, but I'm excited to have the space back, so that we can actually start making the nursery.
And finally, I'm super-excited because we agreed that I should go to England in October. I think I'm going to go up to Cambridge for a night and get up super-early in the morning and take pictures of the bridges and the mist. That will be just heavenly. I can't wait!
So those are all the things I am supremely happy about today. And it was a three day weekend. Every weekend should be a three day weekend. When I become Queen, I shall decree it. J and I had a Stupid Movie Festival and watched Cop Out, Hot Tub Time Machine, and other silly movies. Good times.
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