I'm very excited for mid-August when I will be officially out of my first trimester. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the risk of anything bad happening goes down significantly after the first three months. But the big reason is the exhaustion. Apparently right now my body is engaged in a Herculean task of building an amniotic sac and placenta. How's that for fun? From everything I've heard, you literally wake up one morning around 14 weeks, and you suddenly have energy again. I'm very much looking forward to that day.
I'm trying to get used to the fact that, for at least a little while, my days will have significantly fewer hours than they did a month ago. This is because of all the time I spend sleeping. And thinking about sleep. And wishing I was sleeping. And planning when I will sleep. And talking about sleeping. Sleep is a Really Big Deal to me right now. I am blessed in that so far I haven't experienced a lot of morning sickness. I have a general amount of queasiness on a regular basis, and some aversions to foods that look kind of gross (the other night I fought back sickness when hubs spilled a fruit smoothie) but I haven't been getting intimately acquainted with the toilet bowl yet. I'm praying and hoping that this continues because the sleep thing is bad enough. If I had a puke thing on top of it, I might just have to throw in the towel and call in sick to everything.
Naps are becoming my lifeblood, that get me through the day. I've never been a napper in my life. But I'm discovering the beauty of falling asleep on a summer afternoon on the couch, with a kitty laying on me. Man, naps are good.
The other thing I'm having to manage is eating regularly. Today I went to the lake and on the way back out, I suddenly felt like I was going to faint. No warning. Just like that. One minute I was fine, the next I was digging for my trail mix and having to sit down. So I've gotta manage my blood sugar and eat smaller meals more regularly. The whole nearly-fainting thing was scary.
The good things about pregnancy so far? I'm eating really well - better than I've ever eaten in my life. And I'm listening to all my favorite music again, and playing the piano. I started when I read that Baby's brain was already developing, and I thought I needed to get some Mozart going, because really, why not? And then I started playing because my mom was learning Moonlight Sonata when she was pregnant with me, so I figure it would be good to carry on the tradition.
So that's the pregnancy update for today.
Last week I had something kind of sad happen. When J and I first moved in together, nearly five years ago, we went to Ikea and bought a bunch of stuff, which he put together, in a wonderful demonstration of his manliness. One of the things we bought was a great paper lantern - it was actually five lightbulbs strung together with square white paper lanterns around each one, and nice zen-like green leaves of grass etched on so that when the light was on, they were all outlined and it was all calming and soothing. I loved that lamp. When we moved to the mountains and got a ton of cats, we put the lamp up in the attic.
Last week we were digging around through the attic and found it, and one of the cats had completely shredded one of the lanterns, so we decided to get rid of it. On Thursday night I was putting the recycling from the kitchen into the bin outside, and saw that he had cut up the lanterns and recycled them. It made me so melancholy to see the lamp. I remember the night he had hooked it all up. I fell asleep early and he stayed up working on that, and some bookcases. When I came out in the middle of the night, he'd fallen asleep in front of his video game, but had completed the projects and left the light on, and I felt all special that a guy had stayed up so late putting together furniture I had picked out for me.
And I guess I'm just sad because I know that we're never going to get those times back again, and life is going to change like crazy come mid-February. It won't just be the two of us anymore, and while I'm excited and happy to be having a baby, I'm disappointed that life has to change so much. I'm a Taurus - I don't do change. So I had a little sob at the recycle bin, and I'm still a little sad about it all. But we'll figure it out.
In other non-pregnancy-related news, the cats have all come down with a cold/flu and the little runt of the litter of kittens had to go to the vet today. He was coughing and hacking like an old man, and had really labored breathing, and it just broke our hearts listening to him. So we took him to the emergency vet today and got him antibiotics and a fluid IV and now he's just sleeping. Then we took all the sick ones and stuck them in the bathroom with the shower and a humidifier running. They didn't like being trapped, but all the moisture seemed to help.
So it's been a napping/sick cat weekend.