excitement after a week of Badness

So I'm excited today for a couple of reasons. First, I started singing lessons again. I haven't taken singing lessons since 2001-ish, when I was a regular in the south-london flat of a welshman who was seriously into West End stuff. We did a lot of musicals, and I entertained my housemates by singing In Whatever Time We Have in the shower every morning. I really miss singing, and am desperate to find a choir again. I really need to make that a priority.

Secondly, I have an appointment tomorrow with the OB and he might do an ultrasound and I might be able to hear the heartbeat. How freaking cool would that be!! It totally weirds me out to think that there's something with a heartbeat inside of me right now. It's kind of Alien-ish. I try not to think about that aspect too much. Just like I try not to think about how the ending of this nine-month saga is going to go - ie labor. I couldn't watch the video in 11th grade health class. I'm definitely not reading ahead in What to Expect.... I figure that women have been doing it for thousands and thousands and millions of years, and if it was really that horrible, the species would simply cease to procreate.

The third thing I'm excited about is that ClassicFM now has an android app, so I can listen in the car, all the time. My friend Sandor hates ClassicFM because they don't play complete works, so it's kind of like pop-classical music. But I like it. Or rather, the ADD in me likes it. So I'm a big fan of the android app.

It's nice to be excited about something after the week we had last week.

The main thing was that the cats were super-sick. They'd been fighting off colds, all of them, for a week or so, but then Big Boy, the tiny runt of the litter of kittens, came down with it really badly. And the deal with cats and colds is that if they're congested and can't smell their food, they won't eat. And if they don't eat regularly, they get something called Fatty Liver disease, which can kill them quite quickly. So we took Big Boy to the emergency vet on Monday, and then again on Tuesday when he still wasn't eating. Each time they gave him antibiotics and fluids under his skin (subquetaneous is the medical term).

On Tuesday they gave us the bag of fluids to take home so we didn't need to keep bringing him in. He hates the car rides. So we became de facto nurses, injecting him with 100ml of fluids every day. He put up a nasty fight each time, and I have the scars to prove it. And it was absolutely horrible. After we finally got him restrained so that we could put the needle in, he would wail, and moan, stick his tongue out, cry in the most pitiful way. It was awful. We had to try to stay calm when we were waiting for the fluids to go in, hoping that he would pick up on our calm and stop fighting it so much; but as soon as the 100ml were in, we would take the needle out, let him go, and collapse on the kitchen floor bawling our eyes out. I knew we were literally saving his life with those fluids, but it killed me to see him suffer and not understand that we weren't trying to hurt him, but were actually trying to help him.

The picture is of him in his carrier, where he spent almost the entire week, having to breathe with his mouth open. Poor little guy. He finally ate and drank on his own on Saturday morning, a week after the last time he'd eaten on his own. We cried when we saw him, this time for joy because we knew he was going to be well. Today he's back to his old self, playing and chasing me around like a puppy. I really missed him when he was sick.

So now, in honor of Big Boy being better, a reminder of just how cute he was when he was first born, and will be again as soon as he gets a bath to clean up all the snot that's accumulated in the strangest places (he somehow managed to get snot in his tail... I don't get it either). Hopefully this week will be calmer...

Seriously, are all pregnant women this tired?

I'm very excited for mid-August when I will be officially out of my first trimester. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the risk of anything bad happening goes down significantly after the first three months. But the big reason is the exhaustion. Apparently right now my body is engaged in a Herculean task of building an amniotic sac and placenta. How's that for fun? From everything I've heard, you literally wake up one morning around 14 weeks, and you suddenly have energy again. I'm very much looking forward to that day.

I'm trying to get used to the fact that, for at least a little while, my days will have significantly fewer hours than they did a month ago. This is because of all the time I spend sleeping. And thinking about sleep. And wishing I was sleeping. And planning when I will sleep. And talking about sleeping. Sleep is a Really Big Deal to me right now. I am blessed in that so far I haven't experienced a lot of morning sickness. I have a general amount of queasiness on a regular basis, and some aversions to foods that look kind of gross (the other night I fought back sickness when hubs spilled a fruit smoothie) but I haven't been getting intimately acquainted with the toilet bowl yet. I'm praying and hoping that this continues because the sleep thing is bad enough. If I had a puke thing on top of it, I might just have to throw in the towel and call in sick to everything.

Naps are becoming my lifeblood, that get me through the day. I've never been a napper in my life. But I'm discovering the beauty of falling asleep on a summer afternoon on the couch, with a kitty laying on me. Man, naps are good.

The other thing I'm having to manage is eating regularly. Today I went to the lake and on the way back out, I suddenly felt like I was going to faint. No warning. Just like that. One minute I was fine, the next I was digging for my trail mix and having to sit down. So I've gotta manage my blood sugar and eat smaller meals more regularly. The whole nearly-fainting thing was scary.

The good things about pregnancy so far? I'm eating really well - better than I've ever eaten in my life. And I'm listening to all my favorite music again, and playing the piano. I started when I read that Baby's brain was already developing, and I thought I needed to get some Mozart going, because really, why not? And then I started playing because my mom was learning Moonlight Sonata when she was pregnant with me, so I figure it would be good to carry on the tradition.

So that's the pregnancy update for today.

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Last week I had something kind of sad happen. When J and I first moved in together, nearly five years ago, we went to Ikea and bought a bunch of stuff, which he put together, in a wonderful demonstration of his manliness. One of the things we bought was a great paper lantern - it was actually five lightbulbs strung together with square white paper lanterns around each one, and nice zen-like green leaves of grass etched on so that when the light was on, they were all outlined and it was all calming and soothing. I loved that lamp. When we moved to the mountains and got a ton of cats, we put the lamp up in the attic.

Last week we were digging around through the attic and found it, and one of the cats had completely shredded one of the lanterns, so we decided to get rid of it. On Thursday night I was putting the recycling from the kitchen into the bin outside, and saw that he had cut up the lanterns and recycled them. It made me so melancholy to see the lamp. I remember the night he had hooked it all up. I fell asleep early and he stayed up working on that, and some bookcases. When I came out in the middle of the night, he'd fallen asleep in front of his video game, but had completed the projects and left the light on, and I felt all special that a guy had stayed up so late putting together furniture I had picked out for me.

And I guess I'm just sad because I know that we're never going to get those times back again, and life is going to change like crazy come mid-February. It won't just be the two of us anymore, and while I'm excited and happy to be having a baby, I'm disappointed that life has to change so much. I'm a Taurus - I don't do change. So I had a little sob at the recycle bin, and I'm still a little sad about it all. But we'll figure it out.

In other non-pregnancy-related news, the cats have all come down with a cold/flu and the little runt of the litter of kittens had to go to the vet today. He was coughing and hacking like an old man, and had really labored breathing, and it just broke our hearts listening to him. So we took him to the emergency vet today and got him antibiotics and a fluid IV and now he's just sleeping. Then we took all the sick ones and stuck them in the bathroom with the shower and a humidifier running. They didn't like being trapped, but all the moisture seemed to help.

So it's been a napping/sick cat weekend.

Disappearing Act

If anyone is wondering why I pulled a disappearing act and haven't blogged in nearly a month, two things have conspired to make life unbloggable at the moment.

1. The World Cup, which is winding down, but has had me completely obsessed over the past month.
And of greater import, though some German fans might argue that...
2. I'm 7 weeks preggo, and there's really nothing I can say at the moment that doesn't involve pregnancy, hormones, morning sickness, exhaustion, worry, and anything I'm reading about in What to Expect when you're Expecting.

I found out almost two weeks ago. Saturday three weeks ago hubs and I had a lovely day out - we went to this pub in Woodland Hills to watch the USA/England match, and then went to the Getty to see some Leonardo Da Vinci sketches. On the way home, I fell asleep in the car, which I thought was kind of weird since I'm not really a napper and didn't think I was that tired. Three days later, I'm talking to the doctor about pre-op labs for my ankle surgery, and I'm thinking "man, wouldn't if be funny if I was pregnant right now? Considering how long we've been trying, right when I'm about to get my ankle fixed?" And Bam, just like that, I have an hcg level of 128. And now I know what that means, too.

So no ankle surgery for me this year. But something much harder and more all-consuming around mid-February.... here we go - this is going to be some ride....