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| Snowflakes and Butterflies |
Today is Baby Teysko's due date. The week before we lost him, in early October, we bought a giant Jeep because we live in the mountains, and we'd been through three winters up here without a 4-wheel drive vehicle, and we didn't want to tempt fate by trying to make it a 4th, especially when we were due in February. We bought the Jeep on a Wednesday. On Friday we went out on a Date Night in it, even though it's a gas guzzler, just to try it out. I wore a long-sleeved red t-shirt that said, "Baby makes the belly go round" and J rubbed my tummy a lot - I was starting to really pop out. On Tuesday he was gone, my little butterfly baby who sits on my shoulder and tells me not to cry because he's still with me, and I'll get to hug him someday.
This past weekend we got a major snowstorm, and we kept talking about how great it was that we had the Jeep, considering that this is when Baby T was due. But it's silly thinking. It doesn't matter now because we don't have to go to a hospital to bring a baby into the world. We just went to Redbox to get movies, and felt smug because we could return them without having to shovel the berm, and could just plow over it.
My baby boy, I love you so much, and I'm so sad that you're not here with us.
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