So the book update for today is that I'm at 7035 words.  Yay for doing nanowrimo my way.

I'm doing a cheap-experiment tonight.  I am completely in love with peppermint mochas, but I'm convinced that I can make peppermint syrup at home, and save the $5.  So I googled "How to make peppermint syrup for coffee drinks" and found a Holy Grail website - not just peppermint syrup, but also pumpkin spice syrup.  Man, I'll be able to replicate my favorite drink in the world right now - the pumpkin hot chocolate from Sonic.  I'm so stoked.  In fact, I'm going out to the stove right now...

I shall report back if it's a success.

On a side note, I put on my Norah Jones Pandora station tonight, and feel very much like I'm in a Dido video - everything's in soft focus, and I'm moving more slowly and looking pensive all the time.  I think that what would make my life more interesting would be if I had a personal soundtrack to go along with everything I do.  That way when I'm just sitting on the couch reading Vanity Fair, I could put on the "At Home Reading in PJ's at 3pm" music, and suddenly, rather than just me being lazy on the couch, it would turn into something that's worthy of a reality tv show. Just thinking, that's all.

Book update

Word count total today: 6298.

Oh, and the Ashes are on again - third test, in case you've not been following.  The first one was a draw (yes, only in cricket can you play for five days straight, 8 hours a day, and still not have a winner).  England won the second test. And now we're on the third, and it looks like England is getting off to a very good start.

We're streaming it on this Indian station where they have funny commercials.  You can have a lot of fun by going on youtube and searching Funny Indian Commercials.  The below montage gives you an idea of how we will be spending the next five days worth of commercial breaks.  Nothing beats England winning the Ashes combined with funny Indian commercials.  The next five days are going to rock.

Artwalking

This girl was my favorite - Amanda Sage - google her!

Thursday night we went to the monthly Artwalk in downtown LA.  It's a fun evening where all the galleries are open late, there's lots of kickass food trucks, and best of all, tons of street life.  I really miss street life living in the driving-metro-area-of-the-world.  One of my favorite things in London and NY was just to spend the evening wandering around, looking in shop windows, grabbing coffee, and watching life around me.  I really really miss that in LA.  It's just not the same.  Driving around just isn't the same as walking around.  So I like Artwalk because there's street life, and lots of people around.  Plus, it's Christmas time now, so LA tries to do snow and festiveness.

It looks like snow and you don't have to shovel.  Wheeee!

 It was kind of bittersweet Artwalking.  The last time I went on the Artwalk was in June, and I was already about a week pregnant, but didn't know it yet.  In fact, the frappuccino that I drank that night would cause me no end of grief when, five days later, I discovered I was pregnant and that caffeine was a no-no.  It wasn't until I saw the first ultrasound that I felt ok about that Artwalk Frappuccino.

It was nice to go back and walk around with hubby.  We had a good old fashioned date night.  We walked to Little Tokyo to eat, then stopped in a Japanese grocery store so he could buy seaweed (just to gross me out) and I could play with all the foreign toiletries, and buy lots of foreign gum.  I love me some foreign facewash and gum.  Of all the weird things I could collect, I pick facewash and gum.  It's so weird.

I have been really sad again lately, really missing being pregnant.  Tomorrow it will be 2 months since the Horrible Day.  I just keep replaying scenes from the day in my head - it's like it's on a continuous loop - and I can't get rid of it.  I try really hard not to think about it, but then trying not to think about something is pretty much the same thing as thinking about something, so it hasn't been working out that well.  I did treat myself to a new pair of sunglasses the other day - my old ones were resting on my cheeks and giving me these weird creases in my face all the time - so at least I have cool sunnies to hide behind when I'm crying in public.  Sigh...  I hope I get pregnant again soon.  It will be nice to have something else to think about besides how miserable I am.

Oh, and finally, a book update.  I'm now at just over 5800 words.  NaNoWriSixWeeks is coming along smoothly :)  I like my characters, I like my story, I like spending time with them, so that's all positive.  I'm struggling with their dialog, but that will come in later drafts.  Right now it's about getting words on the screen.  I'll be so stoked if I can do this, even though it wasn't in November, and it's six weeks rather than a month.

Crap.  I just now realized that one of the cats has figured out how to slide open my closet doors.   This is not a good development.  I need to get hooks or something.

Book update

Not much to say today - J and I had a Date Night at the Downtown LA Artwalk, so that was fun.  We ate in Little Tokyo, and went to a Japanese grocery store where I had fun playing with Japanese toiletries and face washes.  We looked at art, listened to buskers, and made fun of the Angeleno's who think their weather is cold.  So now it's bedtime, but I'm so proud of myself for honoring my commitment to write every day, even if it's not much, and even if it's crap.

Today's word count:

3009

Woot.  I'm going to beat my entire nanowrimo total in the first week.  

book word count

Not much to report today, but I'm at 2352 words.  NaNoWriSixWeeks is going according to plan  :)

Book update

So I said I wanted to do NaNoWriMo during December - my own version of it since I sucked at doing the official one this year - and I think the best way for me to do that is to hold myself accountable through word count updates.  I'm already late since I started today, but I don't have guests coming for Christmas, or any work conferences, or anything like that this month.  So I should be able to catch up.  So 50k is the goal.  And honestly, I think I'll give myself until January 15.  Just because, if I'm not doing the official NaNoWriMo anyway, I should be able to make up my own rules.  And my NaNoWriMo is going to be more like NaNoWriSixWeeks.  So Jan 15 is the drop date.  I will have 50,000 words that are somewhat coherent by then.  In a book form.

So.  Word count today:
1347.

I will post daily updates.  Yay accountability!  :)

More Random Thoughts

Lily Allen lost her baby at six months, from an infection.  Just like me.  My heart goes out to her - this is her second one, I think.  I found out she was pregnant pretty soon after I found out I was pregnant, and I was stoked because I really like her music, and I thought it was super-cool that I could have a baby at the same time as one of my favorite singers.  Now I lost a baby right before she lost hers.  So sad.

There is just so much sadness around now, I just don't know what to do with it.  I had no idea that such sadness could exist in the world.  I really didn't know that anybody could be this sad and still function.  But that's the crazy thing about life wanting to go on.  The sadness doesn't mean that you can't do anything else - it's not an either/or thing.  You just do other things with the sadness all around you.  It's like this cloak I wear now.  I still laugh at 30 Rock, I still wish Mondo would have won Project Runway (and I still think Ivy is a serious b*tch), and I still cook dinner, pay bills, and change cat litter.  But I do it all wearing this sadness - it's just part of my wardrobe now, and I don't have to think about it.  It's just there.

I guess eventually it will get old, like any coat you wear every day.  Right now it's still new and fresh, so I notice it all the time because it's not worn in yet, and it's still a little stiff in the sleeves.  Eventually it will get really comfortable, and maybe a little ragged, and I won't feel all conspicuous wearing it.  I won't worry about wearing it in the rain or getting some mud on it.  And then it will just become part of me, and I won't even think about the fact that I'm wearing it anymore.  Maybe it will get so old it will fall apart, and I'll just have some scraps of its fabric left, which I will put in a box.  Maybe then I'll get a new happy coat to wear instead.

In the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want in life.  Everything I do, I ask myself "do I really like this?  Does this new Heather really like this?" and it's funny the things I've come up with.  So far I've identified several things I'm sure I like:

My husband
Christmas decorations in stores - I really don't care that they come out so early.  I've decided that I really like them, no matter how early they put them out.
Blink 182
cranberry juice
Tina Fey
cats
iced mochas
3 ring hole punches
romantic comedies, specifically ones with Hugh Grant
the way our air smells like pine up here in the mountains

Some things I used to really love, that I'm currently on the fence about:
bubblebaths
having as many cats as we do (not like I'm going to get rid of any - just future reference that I might not want to do that again)
politics, the huffington post, and political media in general, which may or may not include Vanity Fair and the New Yorker, but excludes Jon Stewart because he has a hotness factor which overrides the political stuff.
chocolate
having a lot of books around.  What's the point?  To show off how smart I am or something?  Surely I should be able to prove that without having to invite people into my office to stare at my book collection.
Having a big collection of downloaded music, especially from independent artists like the ones on emusic.  Am I trying to make myself seem well rounded and knowledgeable?  I don't listen to it anyway, so again I ask, what's the point?
cooking

So those are the random thoughts for the day.  I haven't been doing all that well with NaNoWriMo the past two days.  I started writing on Monday night, but I started writing a book where the girl loses her baby, and I wound up crying for an hour.  So I think I have to start again.  Maybe it's too early to write a novel about that.  Maybe it's too fresh.  Maybe I should just go back to the novel I wanted to write originally.  It doesn't seem right, somehow.  Like I should write about something deep and heavy after what I've been through.  But maybe that's the point after all.  Maybe the point is that there's way too much heavy stuff out there, and people take themselves too seriously already, so maybe my new job in life is to bring light and laughter everywhere.

Or even better, maybe there really isn't any effing point, and I should just do what makes me happy and not what makes me cry.  Ahhh, she says, starting to get it....

I'm thinking about doing something totally out of character and getting my nose pierced.  Either that or a tattoo.  I always wanted a tattoo, but I'm not so big on needles.  After getting one in my spine, though, I think I might be able to handle it for something small.  A little butterfly or something, for Baby T.

I think I might be freaking my hubby out with my talk of tattoos and piercings.  We're both trying to figure out who we are.  In a way it's kind of exciting.  Not something I want to do again, like a roller coaster, kind of exciting.  More like a hitting rock bottom kind of exciting.

Thanksgiving, snow days, and google wave

So I got a google wave account today. Is google taking over the world? I mean, really. Google owns blogger, youtube, voice, wave - they probably own my house and I don't even know it.

I was supposed to be down in newport beach today, but we had snow, and I couldn't get out. So we had a Snow Day which included much sledding, writing, bubblebaths, reading of Vanity Fair, napping, and watching The Princess Bride. I'm about to hit the elliptical and then keep writing for National Novel Writing Month. I'm out to do the impossible - write 30,000 words in 3 days. Crazy.

I made a giant turkey for Thanksgiving, so we'll be having turkey sandwiches for about a year or so. Fun. Between the turkey, snow, sledding, and naps, life is GOOOOOD.

ERGH

It's been a busy week. I slept nine hours last night, and man, did I need it. Here's how the week went...

Friday, 10/30: J started his Landmark Forum, and I drove to Pasadena to set up the CLA booth. CLA started from 4-7pm and I drove home in Friday night traffic. Got home at about 9:30. J called at 10:30, all excited from his first day, so we talked until 1am.

Saturday 10/31: I went to Pasadena to get to the booth by noon-ish (left around 10:30). Booth time, then meetings until about 6. Came home, felt lazy and not like cooking at all, so had grilled chicken from KFC. J called at 11 or so, and we talked until 2, which was really 1 since the clocks went back.

Sunday 11/1: Went to the booth by 10. Stayed until 3 when CLA was over. Went to the Glendale Galleria to shoot the breeze until 6ish when I headed over to LAX to be with J as he finished his Landmark Forum. Was there until 10, then came home and J was, of course, totally excited about life, and we were up until about 1:30 talking.

Monday 11/2: Woke up and went to MCLS early. Came home and actually had an evening at home, but J was still in talky mood, so we were up until pretty late, despite my best efforts.

Tuesday 11/3: Worked at home but went to J's Tuesday Evening session with guests. Got home at 2am - ate at In-n-Out after the evening session was over.

Wednesday 11/4: Worked at home but went to my agreement in the evening. Got home at 1am.

Thursday 11/5: Went to MCLS, and nearly passed out in the grocery store on the way home.

Friday 11/6: Worked at home, but went to ILP Classroom in the evening. Got home at 1.

LONG WEEK. I was so desperate for the long sleep that I got last night and this morning. Life is so much better after you sleep. I've also been slightly freaked out all week by J since he's on fire from doing the Landmark Forum. He's got so much energy and has so many amazing goals and plans now - I keep wondering what happened to my husband!

Today J's friends came over - they have a six month old, and I'm having fun with her. It's kind of freaking me out about having our own. It sure does require a lot of energy.

Anyway, that's it for now. I started my novel this weekend for National Novel Writing Month and am up to about 10,000 words. Nice to be back on schedule.

The shame of liking Britney Spears

I'm listening to the new Britney Spears album on Rhapsody, and I am so ashamed - I love it. It makes me want to go out clubbing. Ok, so it's not Beethoven. But that Britney sure has some staying power.

I threw my back out this weekend. I think. I've never had a backache before. I always wondered what the big deal was when people talked about backaches. Like the Sex and the City episode where Miranda is lying on the bathroom floor and Aiden goes to rescue her. I remember thinking "what can be that bad??" and now I know. I don't know what I did to do it, but I now have a new appreciation for my back, and need to figure out some good back exercises because not being able to get up from laying on the floor with the cats SUCKED.

And I hit over 50,000 words in my novel, so I'm a NaNoWriMo winner. Go me!

when did I become a ma'am?

I'm chilling out today after a weekend at a conference, and I went grocery shopping this evening. I'm just minding my own business, walking out with my little cart, and a man says "have a good evening, ma'am." Ok, I get it, he was trying to be nice, but come ON. My mom is a ma'am! I am not, nor will I ever be, a ma'am.

On other topics, I'm at over 25,000 words on my novel now. Nice. And the cats sure were happy to see us. It's nice to be loved by little furballs.

22.006 words on my novel so far (and Crappy Hotels Part 1)

I'm stoked because I've written 22,006 words in my novel so far. Pretty cool. Have to get to 23,500 by the end of today, I believe, so I can easily hit 25,000 by tomorrow, the halfway mark of national novel writing month.

Anyway, I'm hanging out at the California Library Association's annual meeting. This year it's in San Jose and I'm staying at the swanky Hilton. You'd think for the amount of money you pay to stay in the hotel that is attached to the conference center you'd get things like, oh, I don't know, Free Wifi? But no, it's $23.95 for three days. AND it's by the computer. So me and Hubby have to each pay. How completely stupid is that? AND they wouldn't let us load up the luggage cart to unload the car ourselves. And I didn't want to have to tip the bellguy for all my overpacked 12 dozen bags, so we wound up parking in the parking structure and carrying all of our crap - two trips each - the long distance rather than just having me unload the car and stay with the cart while J parked. SO that sucked. AND we said we didn't want housekeeping service. I don't like the way they make the beds, and I don't like people poking around my stuff. So we filled out a little card saying no housekeeping. And of course, we get housekeeping. And of course, we get housekeeping. What the phuck? Stupid stupid stupid overpriced hotel. I much prefer the best western. It IS nice to walk to the convention center wtihout going outside, but man, this hotel sucks. Stay away from the Hilton San Jose!

Energy-Sapping Mothers

I didn't write my 2500 words today because I talked to my mother, which saps just about all the creative energy out of me (and hence, doesn't happen very often). I managed to spill out about 1050 words - up to 14301. Tuesday is a holiday. Hopefully in between thanking Veterans for their service, I will be able to get 2500 words in. Must have a couple of good days because this weekend is the California Library Association meeting in San Jose, and heaven knows I'll be having so much fun partying with librarians, I won't get my word count done.

Hardwood flooring is nearly complete in the bathroom. Now I just have to be careful not to make big messes when I'm taking baths. No more mildew.

Also made a pot roast in the crock pot today. We'll have french dip roast beef sandwiches for leftovers tomorrow. The cats are all cuddled and warm, and I am too.

Suburban Dates and Lazy Saturdays

Last night J and I had what I call a Suburban Date. We went to Ikea. I call this a Suburban Date because the only people at IKEA are generally Suburbanites driving their large SUV's and making a mess out of the parking lot. I guess the crappy economy is hitting even Discount Swedish Furniture Places, though, because it was EMPTY. We parked right by the entrance, and didn't even have to wait in line at the cafe (where J gets chicken fingers and I get apple salmon with veggies). After our Discount Swedish Dinner we bought flooring for the bathroom. J is determined to have me decide what is going to happen next in the bathroom (we took out the gross shower when we moved in and put in a nice new bathtub, which necessitated taking down the mildewy drywall, and putting up new concrete on which to put tile once I decide what kind) but I'm lagging. It's just too much to decide. Skylight or no skylight. Beadboard or no beadboard. What kind of tiles. It's just too much. I lack direction. Hardwood flooring at least gets us started in the right direction.

Today I woke up for two hours and then napped. This is unusual for me. I'm not a napper. J is a napper. But not me. I get 8 hours of sleep at night, on a good night, and that does me for the day. But today I napped for 2 hours on the couch, which was quite nice.

I worked out and watched Seinfeld reruns, then we went to dinner in Big Bear at the vacation condo of some friend's of J's. I got carsick on the mountain-road drive, coming and going. Realized that I rarely drive at night anymore, and my eyes are really bothered by the Assault of all the bright lights on the dark mountain. Recovered from my carsickness by 10pm, and then wrote 1600 words for my novel. Up to about 13,240. Now it's bedtime, after I clean up the messiness from tuna sandwich lunch in the kitchen. Yucky and smelly. J is installing the hardwood floors and the cats are going crazy.

We're so adult and boring. Tomorrow's big excitement is the Sunday Paper, a goal of 2500 words, a long bubblebath, and Laundry!

VOTE!

I proudly filled out my ballot for Obama/Biden this morning.

Now I'm at the office. Tonight I will be chopping and dicing turkey for croquettes, and watching the election results, and John King's crazy map, until they are all in. Wolf Blitzer and I will become very close.

A break for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and hopefully a bit of novel writing. I'm currently at 7000 words. Trying to get a few days ahead for when thanksgiving arrives, bringing Sandor and his girlfriend Nicole from England along with it.

The other thing I'm happy about today is that Lewis Hamilton won the Formula 1 championship on Sunday. He's some kinda hot. And he's dating the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. A girl can still dream, though.

A novel, A novel, my kingdom for a Novel!

So I'm doing National Novel Writing Month, which is in November. The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel in one month, in between cooking the turkey and thinking about Christmas gifts, that is. It started November 1, and thus far I have about 6,000 words of something vaguely resembling a memoir/chick-lit story.

I've been writing in the morning, in the evening, and any other time. I am avoiding all books this month because I don't want to accidentally take their voices. Which is kind of a bummer, but that's ok. One month without a book won't kill me. Especially since I am ordering the new Matthew Shardlake mystery and can look forward to that. Tudor mysteries do it for me, what can I say.

I also spent the weekend being super-domesticated. I made pumpkin bread with real pumpkin. And then practiced making my Thanksgiving Turkey, with homemade stuffing (I cut up the bread myself). I have discovered a great appreciation for cooking in the past few months. As in cooking from scratch. No mixes, no boxes. When I go to the grocery store I buy fresh ingredients. It's been theraputic and meditative, and I love opening the fridge to see lots of fresh veggies that I've never heard of before. Like a celery root. What's a celery root? Who knows, but it sure was yummy in my turkey/leek/celery root soup.

And I'm super-excited to vote Obama tomorrow.