Pictures from Monterey (and funny local news)

We were up in Monterey for our anniversary weekend - 6 years (says the girl who never wanted to get married in the first place...sheesh...).  I was at the Internet Librarian conference, which they always schedule conveniently in a beautiful place over my anniversary weekend.  So thoughtful of Information Today.  So by day I went to sessions on eBooks and web design, and then got to get all romantic with hubby in the evenings.  Sweet!

We went to a monarch butterfly sanctuary in Pacific Grove.  It's along the butterfly's migration track, so it's kind of like a giant Pilot Travel Center, and by late November, the trees are just covered with them.  The early ones were already starting to scope out the area when we got there.  In the pregnancy-loss world, lost babies are called Butterfly Babies, and we had fun trying to pick out which one was Baby T.  We think we caught him showing off his flapping skills here.

I took pictures of the ocean and hummed Enya's "Caribbean Blue" over and over, much to the chagrin of my husband.

And the waves.

While J showed off his rock-climbing abilities.  His neck is still intact.

And we watched it get dark over Monterey Bay while eating Pinkberry.  The 30 Day Sugar Detox is over, but it was the first dessert type of food I've had since September 16.  Crazy.

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So today my mom left on a group tour of Scotland.  She parked in the shopping center where everyone was meeting to get on the bus to the airport, and promptly locked her keys in the car, along with all her bags.  Being prone to panic (it's where I got it from) she decided the best option would be to break her window, so that she wouldn't have to make the bus wait for her.  Never mind that she is in Pennsylvania, where a massive hurricane is set to arrive early next week.  Nope, she thinks it's a good idea to take a hammer to that sucker, and break her window.  Only thing is, the window doesn't break, despite the fact that she has biceps molded by years of working at UPS.  Eventually the tour operator saw the commotion, came over to see what was going on, and called triple A, who got her keys.  But the whole episode made J think of this funny local news video.  Breaking into a car is harder than it looks, I guess.   This has the bonus of being a funny bit of local news, as well as an informational instructional video. 

Funny Local News and More Fertility Crap

My husband got a tenor saxophone.  He hasn't played in 15 years, but his high school has started an alumni band, and they might play in the Rose Parade in 2015 or something, so he's been re-learning it.  The first couple of days were pretty painful.  For a little while, I understood how my parents felt when I was 10 and learning the violin.  But he's getting a lot better, and when he jams he reminds me of a skinny Bill Clinton, which is weirdly hot.

Speaking of hot, we're doing another cycle of IUI this month, which means that J got to give me a shot in the hip today.  We sure know how to keep it interesting.  I'm getting really cynical about this whole thing.  This will be the third cycle, and I know that it's supposed to end up that you get a baby out of it, but I'm honestly resigned to this just being a giant money pit.  A woman in my choir said that a more empowering word might be that I'm just surrendering, but I think she's just sugar-coating it.  I'm 110% cynical at this point.  I go through the motions - acupuncture (which I really don't like), cut out caffeine,  etc etc.

But I'm not buying it that anybody gets a baby out of this procedure.  And then I start freaking myself out because I'm so negative, and I think I should be positive because maybe I'm making myself not be pregnant by being so negative, and then I think that if I keep thinking I'm going to make my head explode.  So then I sit in a bubblebath for two hours with my head under the water, ignoring everything except the cats trying to play with the shower curtain.

That is all.  I'm a cynical hormonal mess at the moment.

In that spirit, here's some funny local news, because it's been a while.  Nothing's funnier than farts and local news.  Mix it together for some magic alchemy.

I just finished reading The Information Diet, which I think I mentioned before - it's all about how we need to stop ingesting the equivalent of twinkies into our brains, and spend more time on the stuff that's important to us. I can happily report that I haven't looked at The Huffington Post all week, nor have I watched The Daily Show.   I miss it a little bit - I do have a crush on Jon Stewart - but it's nice to have time to listen to the podcasts I love, read the magazines I enjoy, and not get all riled up about politics.  I also started using Rescue Time, which is a bit of software that sits in the background analyzing the sites you spend time on, seeing where you lose productive time.  So I can't sneak little breaks checking out the new Jason Wu collection at Target without Rescue Time noticing.  It's a little creepy to be honest, so I might not use it forever, but it's definitely nice to be able to get a reality check on my attention span.

I haven't been as good about meditation lately.  It seems so difficult to set aside 20 minutes to just sit and do nothing.  Yet I know it's important.  I know the difference it makes for people, and could make for me.  So I keep trying.  Eventually it will become second nature.  Like the oil pulling I do every morning.  I know it sounds crazy and new agey, but I haven't been sick at all yet this winter, and normally I come down with every cold that passes through the neighborhood, so I'm stoked about that.

This week I'm going up to my office in San Mateo, but the highlight will be Saturday, when I go to the American Bach Soloist's choral workshop in San Francisco.  A full day of singing the choruses from the St Matthew Passion.  Ahhhhh, bliss....

It's been a while since I posted a Funny Local News video, and when I searched for one on youtube, I found this one, from LA's ABC 7, filmed in a Target parking lot in Fontana, which is, coincidentally, the Target I most often go to.  I park in that parking lot!  It's a good thing the rogue carts don't get my car. Man, if you only watched local news, you would be forgiven for being afraid of your own shadow. If you're ever looking for something to be afraid of, watch local news. They'll make sure you know about some new killer disease or rogue shopping cart that you should watch out for.

I'm a podcasting fool

I'm up late, having just done another episode of the Renaissance English History Podcast, cuz that's how I roll on a three day weekend.  You can subscribe in itunes, or listen online (just click the EnglandCast tab).  Cuz you know you need to know lots of stuff about 16th Century English Art in 10 minutes or less...

And I made these homemade potato chips today.  I'm not really sure that they count as, you know, chips.  But they're made with potatoes, oil, salt and pepper.  So they ain't Doritos...

And since I'm punchy, and today my 32 year old husband tells me that when he grows up he wants to be a guitar player for Big Time Rush, it's time for Funny Local News: Arachnophobia Edition.  Love how the woman tries to take charge.  Leave it to a woman to try to keep stuff moving along.  Bunch of stupid frat boys acting like ten year olds while the woman tries to do her job.  

Local News: Not Knowing The Camera's On You Edition

The quality of this video is bad since they taped their TV, but man, is it funny.

It's been a while since I trawled around Local News, and I forgot how hilarious it is!

Funny Local News: Put-Down Edition

You know those Saturday Night Live skits where the anchor has to tell the reporter how to do his job?  I think this is where it came from.  These guys both need to learn some professionalism, but it's pretty funny to watch.



I was your boss once!  Yeah, and you're not anymore.  How'd that happen?  SMACKDOWN.

A post including Rugby, Marijuana, and Funny Local News

J and I are both suffering with the flu, so I don't have much to say at the moment.
But this is my new favorite video.



With the whole being sick thing, time is going by really, really, slow.

I am seriously never going to get sick of that.

In other news, it appears to be rugby season. The Six Nations tournament(?) is on BBC America, and I saw Scotland get their butts whooped by Wales today. I really don't get rugby. I don't understand the rules. I don't understand the scrum. I just don't get it. And this is coming from someone who understands the rules of cricket.

From what I can make out, rugby appears to be a mashup of other sports, including wrestling, football, and cheerleading. All done without helmets or pads. I don't have to understand the rules to know that I would not want to be on the bottom of the pile of those guys. Seriously, they feel no pain. Half the players were bleeding at the end of the match today and didn't even seem to notice.

By way of example, I searched in google images for "tough Rugby player" and one of the first results is:

Compare to the same search, but insert "football" for "rugby".  One of the top results is:

So, yeah, based on my unscientific google-imaging, I'm going with the rugby players as the craziest nutjobs in the sporting world.

Peace out, people.  I'm going back to snotting all over my hubby now.  We so have this romance thing down.  

Funny Local News: Bug-In-Your-Mouth Edition

I realize I didn't do a Funny Local News this week (Monday was a holiday for me, and I spent the day in therapy and running errands) so here you go.  41 seconds of pure juicy funniness from Isiah Carey of Houston (but when he was in Arkansas).

Don't say I never gave you anything.

Funny Local News: Resolution Edition

I like this clip from Denver's Fox 31 because:

1.  Olivia Newton John
2.  All the shots of spinners
3.  Right around 57 seconds, Dan Daru is trying to say the word "Spinning" (I think) but it sounds like "Spitting" because he's spitting all over the camera.  That's pretty darn gross, Dan.
4.  The guy at 1:07's face is kind of scary.
5.  All the slow-mo then fast-mo effects.
6.  The presenter giving a shout-out to her friend at the end.  I'm sure her friend was super-cool with having people who might have missed it otherwise, go back and check to see whether there was a good sweaty-butt-shot of her on the bike.  I know I would be.

 

Funny Local News: Snow Edition

I was going to put together some funny local news clips on snow, but then I remembered that InfoMania did this last year, and why reinvent the wheel, right?  So here you go...enjoy...




For fun, I did look at one of my local hometown news channels, and had to share this story about an entrepreneur who started a granola company. I'm not knocking her at all - quite the opposite - she's awesome. But all of the "nut" puns are just too much. I counted at least 7. Is it written somewhere in the Local News Handbook that you have to write stupid puns for every human-interest story??

 

Funny Local News: Holiday Spending Edition

Dude, Dave Dunn is working for me, live on the Plaza!  Poor Megan couldn't get anything for her dorm room.  And Banana Republic is still open!  Woot! I do love the Seamless Vinyl Siding ad, too. The guy sounds so convincing when he says to Call Now. Heck, I want to call him, and I don't even need any Seamless Vinyl Siding!

 
Utah shoppers are all a-twitter too! Apparently the Build-a-Bear's are on a rampage there, though. One lady was very excited to have escaped Build-a-Bear. And seriously, why not just go for it, right?

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Honestly, aren't the newscasters supposed to be telling you the news, and not encouraging the same consumerism that got the economy into such a mess? Last time I checked, the Christmas angels did not say unto the shepherds, "Go ye to Bethlehem, and then get ye to Macy's where ye can find sportswear ye probably don't need for 50% off, especially since ye just got a sh*tload of stuff ye probably also don't need the day before for Christmas."

My new hobby: Laughing at Local News

I'm going to start a weekly (or maybe more) posting on Funny Local News.  Because there ain't nothing funnier than Local News.  This inaugural posting will feature the inestimable Donald Robinson, reporting on Black Friday Sales at WFRV in beautiful (I'm sure) Fox Valley, Wisconsin.  The funniest part of this story isn't the listing of mall stores (stores like The Gap, and American Eagle, complete with shots of their logos), or the mall manager talking seriously about a "soft opening" at midnight (oh, the significance!).  The funniest part is when Stephanie from Maurice's talks about the fleece's being on sale.  Oh man, I gotta get me down to Maurice's to get some cheep fleece!

Side note:  I feel bad for poor Dee Thetford's husband.  What short straw did he pick so that he gets to go out at 5am on Black Friday in the Wisconsin cold, and she gets to stay home and warm?

Gale Lemke is right: it is all just too crazy.  Stay in Chilton, my friend.