So here we are, another Monday. Oh man, this is painful. So you know, we were at the ER on Thursday night into Friday. And it's so interesting how I deal with stress, which is by eating. I've noticed it so much this week. I have a stupid fight with J, and I run out to the kitchen and grab a handful of malted milk balls to calm my nerves. On Thursday night, I had a screaming baby on my lap for hours - I wasn't about to let her crawl around in the ER with all the who-knows-what on the floor. So I just held her on my lap while she flailed and screamed. And she sat in her stroller sometimes, and I'd walk with her. But mostly it was her on my lap, flailing. Until she finally started to pass out. So guess what I did? I hit the snack machine. Grape soda. Orange soda. Diet coke. A giant pack of vanilla cookies. Chocolate. You name it, I guzzled it.
I didn't choose to meditate and channel my inner silence. No, I inhaled sugar.
This is not particularly healthy.
Even worse, I justified it because I did spend a ton of time walking her in her stroller in circles. So I was like, "well, I'm walking her around for hours, that must be burning some calories, no?" Uh, no. Not that many.
I've also gotten out of the habit of using the loseit app, which I started rectifying today. I'd also been sliding on my meditation (mostly because I noticed that whenever I would meditate, I would start thinking hateful thoughts about my asshole neighbor, but that's a different story). Which doesn't seem to be the point of meditation. So I meditated today and pushed past that and started thinking no thoughts at all. For about 6 seconds.
So that's where we are. Stopped by stress eating.
New week this week.